I'M NOT A REAL BLACKBELT!

Seriously, where do I start? How do I begin to tell such a tale? Do I follow the events in chronological order or dare I tell each story leaving the best for last? By the way, I lied. What happens in Townsville never really happened, but I’m still telling everyone. Why? Because some wondrous people deserve credit where credit is due, because legends cannot grow without one person reciting them, and because it’s just too damn funny. I guess I’ll start off our story like this:

3 cheers for Sean “Bevo” Beveridge
Hip hip Hurray
Hip hip Hurray
Hip hip Hurray

Slow clap as we all read this blog.

I know it has been said time and time again, but if you cannot look into the eyes of Timmy Roland and either give him...

gratuitous amounts of hugs
A beer (or shots)
A smile
A simple thank you

...then you deserve to take classes in courtesy and respect. Not only did he have to organise and collect payment, he had to delegate between others in the allocation of bars. He had the ability to grant us not one but two buses. He gave you opportunities to pay in advance or later the night of the crawl. We all know the pub crawl was a success because of many other people on the Board of Directors, but this was Tim’s baby. Thank you sir. Job well done.

The night started like any other, and as I predicted, many were already tipsy when they got to the bbq (Camila, Germans). With a rusty, small, uneven bbq, “The Crow” (NOT MARYLIN MANSON) was able to accommodate everyone and ward off the line cutters. I’m talking about you, Germans. My outdoor kitchen is not Poland -- even though my family is primarily Polish. One hotdog per person until everyone eats then you are free to grab as many as you want. I witnessed some great costumes such as: Camila Salazar as “The Spirit”, two Wolverines, two “Easy A’s”, Captain America, Black Swan, Iron Man, Maximus from Gladiator, Agent Smith, Men in Black, The Mad Hatter, and the way too popular Karate Kid.

There were obvious clashes in costumes. Mud wrestling was put on the table for the girls to battle over who was the better character, but in the end a chugging race was needed to settle the scores. Who was the impostor? Results below...

Battle #1 - The “Spirit” of Pub Crawls
Camila Salazar vs. Another Spirit dude
Winner = Little Ecuador woman by a mile

Battle #2 - Wolverines - Whose brain cells heal faster?
Quint vs Charlie
Winner = Charlie (the flannel shirt was the decider)

Battle #3 - Lora Croft - Such a Beer Chick
Maxamiliane Schwarz vs. Stacey Weinstock
Winner = Stacy, too legit to quit!

I Didn’t catch the red headed battle between Jaime Broadbent and the other “Easy A” so someone will have to fill us all in with the results.

For those who never witnessed, the lovable James David nearly missed the bus ride from Uni to Riverview Tavern. Taking on his “Air” nickname a little too far, James was dressed with white wings and a diaper for whatever weird movies he is into lol. With an attempt to fly to the next bar a disastrous fail, James stepped into the middle of the road and got the bus to stop before it began its trip to the next bar. Once we arrived the liquor was flowing, the music was bumping, and the antics began. Fresh off her win, Camila’s “spirit” embodied her to take on a game of dares with a sly French man, which ended up with her motor-boating Sammy’s Daisy Dukes. Sammy’s boyfriend, Bobby (The giant banana) was at first stunned, but he quickly expressed his “anything you can do I can do better” attitude.

Other notable costumes were Carol’s genie, Jennette Lund’s Avatar, and the ever greasy “James Dean” look from Mr. Luke McClellan. His rebel without a cause demeanor was showcased in his ability to only buy suspenders as part of his costume.

“I really don’t care if no one knows who I am supposed to be. The costume was cheap and easy.” (Insert funny quip).

Very rebellious buddy. Karina McGrath also dawned the Super Trooper look, and who could forget our favourite kid from the gutter; Antonio Montana! Mr. Manuel Vega sported the rocking white suit and burgandy shirt, allowing us to all find the gangsta inside our souls. Last night the world was his, and he made the most of it, or so I was told.

As I walked around the Avenue I noticed the shots being fired back in rapid succession. So much so that the bartenders forgot to keep count. When asked if the shots were still being served, Luke McClellan confusingly stated:


“Fuck if I know, I’ve had 5 already.”

On the bus ride to the Great Northern Hotel Agent Smith (A-O Suv) and Mike Larson (Gladiator) decided to boycott seats and held onto the rails and each other in a thrusting position that made many weak in the knees. We all desperately tried to recite some drinking songs on the buses but were too drunk to think of some and thus had to keep hearing the German ones about 1,000,000 times too many. You guys have Oktoberfest, there has to be more than one song you know lol.

Who could forget the amazing costume from Raymond Everest “RAY BRIGADE”, who went as the pioneer of the film industry, Charlie Chaplin. Did anyone catch the “Runaway Bride”, Lucy Jensen and her $15 wedding dress? Julia Roberts would have been proud. Beetle Juice was in attendance as well from the blonde vivacious Rach Collett, and I believe I spotted Tinker Bell. I know I saw Peter Pan and his paper mache hat, along with his Native Indian girlfriend Tiger Lilly. Yeah I watch Disney Movies, so what. Haters, relive your childhood once in a while.

To be honest, I don’t really remember much after Monsoons. And the Bank Nightclub was just a blur with hints of raw energy and seductiveness. I blame the techno music and bright lights. It was the same energy that caused Timmy to lose his shirt and proceed to dance on the floor. Word of advice, if you drink with him or anyone else from the Parkfit Gang I would make sure to place a beeper on his face. He was found passed out on the street about 50 metres from the driveway. The Bank was also the proud new owner of my black wig. I actually had no idea I took it off until I got off the bus with Luke and rubbed my head.

“Luke, where’s my wig?”
“You tossed it in the toilet when we were in the bathroom. You said ‘Fuck Wigs!’, and threw it near the urinal of a dude pissing. But he was drunk and might have drenched it.”
“Thank God I didn’t put it back on eh.”

Finally, who could forget President Hugh and his alter ego “Pugh”. The Karate Kid himself, dressed to impress and acting on “energetic” impulses, apparently tried to steal a tazer from a cop after he was refused entry into the Bank. It took 3 cops to take down the mighty “Mr. Miyagi” recruit, who upon noticing the use of brute force to his stomach and face cried out...

"It’s not a real black belt! I’m not a real black belt!”

Word spread fast on the buses and cab rides home. People who didn’t end up going to the crawl knew about it last night. Larson and I even had a drunken conversation/laugh about bailing him out but not being able to do so until Monday. No amount of magic was going to get him into that club, but we admire and love his effort and his hard work to allow us to play frisbee every year. Seriously dude, might need to dial it down a notch next time we drink lol.

If I missed any story then feel free to leave a comment on this blog or in the Facebook group. Better yet, tell me and everyone else on Wednesday how you loved to hang out with us. There was one Facebook comment that went up the night before the crawl.



Katie Morgan, aka Wilma Flinstone: “I’m legitimately sewing a dress for pub crawling tomorrow. It's gettin real up in here.”

This sums it all up. We keep it real here in the Ville and in the Frisbee Family.
 So from all of us to all of you, thanks again for a great night. Cheers if you’re still recovering, thanks to everyone who came out, and see you all Wednesday. You have just experienced a pub crawl - Frisbee style. It’s a social explosion, and any of you who were on the bus when Timmy and I gave our speeches I hope you listened. These days will never happen again for some of you. Australia is only a few months for some, but the memories can last a lifetime. Don’t be a stranger anymore and come say hello. I would be honoured to meet anyone new to the family.

An extra funny moment for you to read: I woke up in my bed with my pillows covered in face paint and 5 keys missing from my Macbook Pro. I must have ripped them off in a fit of joy. Oh yeah, send me pictures and videos of the night and I will incorporate them into the big movie slideshow. iMovie is a sweet program and I would love to see shots from everyone involved.

I hope Friday night was everything you could hope for and more.

Sincerely,
The Man with the Dragon Tattoo