Healthy posting!

So it appears that the flurry of blog posts appearing after the week-long lull is set to continue. Rather than spread the reading out throughout the week we're going to beat you into blog-reading submission and overwhelm you by the sheer volume of posts in lieu of regularity.

POST NUMBER THREE FOR TUESDAY AWAY!!!

PS. Don't forget to read the other 2, they're down here and here....

Get your priorities in order - It's the Finals!

Let this video bring it home for all of us!  We're on the home straight, the finals are looming.

Kenny Dobbins will set your priorities in order (if he doesn't, please disregard this video, it's out of date)!   Take it away Ken...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHby2r9Qq4A

Cut-throat Ultimate

QUDA must be thrilled, Queensland Ultimate continues to grow with the solid numbers in Townsville and the expansion of Cairns Ultimate ever on the up. It appears Chillagoe mine is now getting into the spirit of things out west. Co-Presidente Duncan had this to say about the new branch of Ultimate, Cut-throat Disc which follows the trend of Ultimate by using an adjective in the name of the sport.

"This is how we play ultimate in a mine - it's cutthroat and lethal, especially catching but we are training hard to bring it to the 'Ville"

Townsville is already anticipating sending a tournament team full of Canadians and New Zealanders to the mine to take on the challenge!

Just kidding!

Who can tell me how to make the columns wider?

Ok so I've pretty much been wondering how to make the writing space wider since we got this blog. Anyone done it before and want to let me in on the secret?

Thanks.

What is your Ultimate Desire?

A foray into UltiPorn.

Do you watch Ultimate Porn? If so what takes your fancy?

Ultimate Porn or Ultiporn for short: What is it and who is it for? Well, there are many different forms of Ultiporn, just as there are many forms of internet porn. Some of the forms might be particular fetishes like sex only using the feet or girls with fake breasts as opposed to real ones. Wait, sorry. Some of the forms that excite ultimate players might be media such as videos and pictures of elite level games where players have performed spectacular acts such as throws, dives, and catches, while alternative forms which please could be tightly detailed descriptions of a particular defense or an advanced throwing drill. Other people might even get theirs from seeing minutes of a club’s meetings, team lists from their upcoming tournaments, or emails from their team captain! Just as normal pornography excites and arouses the human desires, so too does ultiporn but to the extreme, this time it's the human's ultimate desires.

Sexxxy???

What types of ultiporn are there? How do you choose a favourite?

When the ultimate senses wish to be indulged and the option of a real game is not there, the potential for other methods of indulgence is realised. The closet pervert among us might prefer top quality pictures of events to pore over, hoping to spy a daring act such as someone laying out or a player getting skied by a big receiver. The text lovers might get it out by reading about their mate scoring on twitter, or perhaps get worked up over the release of the team list for the next national side. The devilish ones out there just can’t wait to get an email back about the funding being approved for a new video camera which they can’t wait to use. The experimental ones might get excited over finding a new website which has all sorts of plays they’d love to try out with their team when the time is right. It's not uncommon for young easily influenced kids even to prefer games such as fantasy ultimate over the real thing.

Of course, if you’re reading this or any other ultimate blog at the moment then you’re already indulging in ultiblog-porn. But rest assured, there’s no need to feel dirty, it’s all perfectly natural. Choosing a favourite type all comes down to experience and ultimate sexual preference.

With so many options how does a new person begin? What is the attraction?

Better than tits?

Obviously the most common mainstream form includes ultimate videos, particularly highlight reel videos (www.ultivillage.com). This is many people’s introduction to the world of Frisbee porn. Of the ultiporn video formats some of us prefer having a full game approach as opposed to those who may only prefer the quick sharp staccato rhythm of highlight reels. Of course people exist who will like watching both full games and highlight reels, and some people may not like any at all. So what is it that attracts some people but not all to even this basic form of ultiporn, because some people just do not get off on this at all? Is it their religious beliefs? Is it a moral or ethical code? Or do they just get enough Ulti Sex, real game-time experiences? These question remain to be asked more often and answered more thoroughly. My belief is that they’re a little bit gay.

For the rest of us anyway, those who don’t yet know where they fit in, we can pick and choose between the different types of ultiporn as we may desire. Some of us may be satisfied with only one or just a few forms. We can also expect that there will be people out there who indulge or have indulged at some time or another in all known forms of ultiporn. Some say change is as good as a holiday, and these people seek change and variety like a hamster seeks out the warm depths of the human colon, as we all too often hear about. Another thing we can be sure of is that there will be people who are shocked when they hear about what another person finds to be a normal and satisfying form of ultiporn!

Case Study #1: Jason DeRooy: Likes: basically all forms of ultiporn from writing emails, filling out blogs, to organising tournaments in his spare time and being executive of QUDA (Queensland Ultimate Disc Association). Lives for ultiporn.

Dislikes: Men in women’s clothing, idle chitchat.

Normal or unacceptable?

So these questions should be asked: What is normal and accepted and what is not? What we should remember is that when it comes to people’s tastes and preferences it will be different for everyone. Where should the line be drawn? For each person this will be different. Some people may draw the line early at the more conventional forms such as highlight reels. Others among us will just keep pushing the boundaries, poring feverishly over administrative details and organising events such as tournaments where their fetishes can be realised and real Ulti Sex can even take place. Every person should feel free to experiment with their Ultiporn desires and be encouraged to step things up to newer levels when a previously favourite experience becomes old.

Acceptance is the new excitement! Go out there and get some ultiporn into you!

Ultimate Frisbee: The Top Frisbee Sport!

According to a recent assumption Ultimate Frisbee is the top frisbee sport!

Image: http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/archives/2008/Sep/
That's frickin right! Stupid penultimate frisbee.

This is fantastic news for any Ultimate player who's had to put up with people laughing at them, girls disrespecting them, work colleagues feeling sorry for them or passerbys in cars yelling "frisbee is for gays!" loudly out their windows. Ha! Ha! Take that all you doubters! Who's having the last laugh/act of abuse/show of sympathy/yell now! Ultimate Frisbee is, that's who.

Frisbee Facts you should know!

For those of you who didn't know an ultimate frisbee frisbee holds: approximately 1630 ml of liquid. That equals approximately 4.34 beers. Or approximately 1.42 jugs of beer. Or 2.86 pints. Or 3.83 schooners. Or 5.71 pots of beer. That equals enough to get you messy if you have 3 or 4 of them.

Use this knowledge wisely. Tell your mates.

Just what are you gonna do now?

Option A: Throw Frisbee
Option B: Drink Beer
Option C: Paperbag girl and have your way
Option D: Pour beer into frisbee, drink beer from frisbee, throw beer, paperbag girl.

Vote now!

Controversial Drunken Dancing Styles - The Handler - A moral obligation or too intense ninja?

We all know the common drunk dance moves on the dance floor such as The Egyptian, or The Sprinkler but who among us has dared use The Handler?

Of all the drunken dance moves I've rehearsed or pulled out in the past I'm sure most people will agree with me when I say that ripping out frisbee moves on the dance floor is a sure way to impress people with your dancing know-how. One of the great things about this dance is that actual throw execution doesn't play a part. You are The Handler, the greatest handler of them all. So you can sit there faking smooth short backhands and then switching and going for the no-look high-release inside-out forehand huck or how bout spreading those legs and throwing lower than you ever thought possible until regrettably you sack yourself, people are gonna be wowed no matter what!
Suddenly a world opens up...

But the moral obligation must come first: Is it fair to use ultimate frisbee moves on the dance floor? Or are they just too intense ninja for normal people?

Some people will argue against it saying you couldn't possibly still have the disc after more than 10 seconds of faking throws, how can you still be dancing?? But my counter to this is that you 'll only have 10 seconds if someone is counting. And who would want it to end, really?

Please be careful.
Please be very careful.

And here's a tip: use only one disc at a time unless you want it to look like only a training session instead of the real thing.

Successful Barbie! Plus Sausages versus BBQ flavoured Satay Sticks and what to call them!

Thursday, last week, saw what I think was the second club fundraising barbecue of the semester at the Uni Club. The Club's opening hours have now returned to the old closing time of 1am meaning a better, drunker, hungrier night for all.

Thanks again to Duncan for organising the barbie and manning the tongs all night. The addition of kebab sticks/satay sticks with BBQ flavour or whatever you want to call them was definitely an improvement on the thoughtlessness of only offering woolies sausages and tapped into the market of the "person who refuses to support the cause because we're only selling sausages". This is a niche which far too often remains untapped leading to an increase in the number of these people about. However, the strange part about it was that people actually complained when the sausages finally disappeared, so we won't be seeing the end of them anytime soon.

The best part of the night was enjoying the company of those who helped out and all our friends stopping by where they could rest their drink/s allowing the double fisters among us to free up a hand and have a chat. So thanks to everyone who came and helped we had a lot of people there making the night fun. I think Jared managed to keep us in business early on by eating 9 sausages and a kebab stick at last report. All our food ran out with pretty girls lining up for Matt Esser's skills at cooking the satay sticks, which is a great way to finish a barbie! The best thing about it for me was that it allowed me to come out and socialise but kept me tied down and away from the booze a little more. So well done to the barbie!

An intervention will be held next time for Dave Dehollander who drank 6 or so red bulls and became quite strange and spoke really really quickly by the end. This may just involve stealing his car keys and getting him drunk.

Internet weirdness and The Last Surviving Dragons' team mascot

Dear Capitan Matthew De Witt,

You are very disturbing in your obsessions and choice of team name. As promised for having the most debatable team name, here is all anyone ever needs to know about the legend behind the team.

Last Surviving Dragon

The photo and the caption below the photo is all you need to enjoy this, but what you should note however is what makes this man a fine specimen ultimate player.
Speed, he is ol' crafty legs.
Height, no pants, makes him seem taller.
Efficiency, wings a mile long.
Intimidation, he has a moustache that reeks of self inflicted pain.
Confidence, just look at that strong knowing body language and tell me it doesn't get you.

Good Luck.