I present to you, the Townsville Ultimate Season 1 Teams of 2010!
MOTHERHUCKERS




GOOD LUCK TEAMS!
Townsville Ultimate Disc
I present to you, the Townsville Ultimate Season 1 Teams of 2010!
MOTHERHUCKERS




My favourite disc like most of the discs I have owned was either given away or on the scape heap. This disc was my first disc in Townsville which was bent out of shape and cut to pieces thanks mostly to the Cathedral Frisbee players Troy, Nathan and Denyer and our disc golf course designed at the Cathedral School. It was probably the most fun I have had playing disc with inavative throws including Troy Booths super rollers. My second favourite disc belonged to a girl called Anna who had a favourite disc which she had gotten from her first tournamnet many years ago. She made the mistake of using it on the disc golf course. It went into the lagoon which I gentlemanly offered to get out with the help of a large piece of wood. I placed the wood on the disc and heard an onimous sound. I pull the wood up which had her disc attached due to the large nail in the end. Her favourite disc now had a big hole in it :)
Blue Sharks 13 – Hard Force 10
Motherhuckers 13 – Heavyweights 8
Pink BAMF’s 13 – Yellow Duncans 8
After what seemed to be a long awaited wait to Wednesday night Frisbee, the league did not disappoint. With absolutely minimal wind, man on man defence seemed to be the most effective approach to the games. This opened the door to many stand out performances, daring catches and pinpoint accurate throws. Standing on the sideline and witnessing the calibre of games being played so far this season has provided evidence to the ever-growing sport of Ultimate in Townsville. Brand stinking-new players have been able to pick up the rules, catches and throws like they have been playing for years, providing a promising future for Townsville Ultimate. Keep it up!
The Blue Sharks were itching to get started on a new week after suffering a disappointing loss to the Motherhuckers in the previous week. After much discussion about pre-game rituals, it was decided that a song would be debuted this week called “The baby shark”, which proved to be a big hit, with some members of Hard Force joining in after the game. The Blue Sharks were determined to get out to a good lead after hearing about Hard Force’s habit of sneaking back into the game through a string of goals, and this week was no different, after a 5-1 head start, Blue Sharks only managed to get into Half time at 7-6. A close second half consisted of full field hucks from Zane and perfect throws and delicate cutting between Simon and Cody. The new players picked up the game with ease, easily bagging one or two goals each throughout the game. Except for Deanna who ended up with no goals. Sorry Dee! In a game dominated by man on man defence (Or woman on woman), it was a close grind with Blue Sharks just holding of the hard finishing Hard Force to come out victors 13-10.
With an incredibly slow turn up rate, the Heavyweights managed to pull together 7 players before the opening pull against a full strength Motherhuckers team line up, only missing their key player Criegan “McNabb” Gibson in the first 20 minutes due to a car break down or something. After a quick fire first half, the Heavyweights seemed to be dominating simply through possession, playing patiently with their handlers. Following a flawless first half performance by the Heavyweights, Finny had to visit his boyfriend, Rohan and in turn, put the team at a slight disadvantage. Blood was smelt in the water by Mike “The Shark” Larson, and after a courageous half time speech involving a few tears and a random pledging ceremony, the changed Motherhuckers ran onto the field determined to prove their worth. The Motherhuckers turned the tables and kept their composure to retain the momentum. Hard defence all round restricted Hugh’s Heavyweights to only one goal in the second half. Motherhuckers still remain undefeated and poses the question to the rest of the league... “Who can beat these Mother fuckers?” Motherhuckers up 13 to 8.
A gun team consisting of more stars than the Milky Way, the Pink BAMF’s were a force to be reckoned with this week. After a second round scare, Bobby took the field in uniform and was itching for goals, Bec on the sideline cheering and Bob dazzling the crowd with his familiar ‘flat as a pancake’ flicks the BAMF’s were a force to be reckoned with. But little did they know that the Yellow Duncan’s had a trick up their sleeve as well. The sleeve must be huge, because the trick involved a 7 foot something giant dressed head to toe in yellow body paint making it impossible to come within 3 foot of him without turning Yellow yourself. With the three D’s (Duncan, Dave and Dane) running amok, it was always going to be hard for the BAMF’s to dispose of the Duncan’s without a fight. To this day, the score remains unknown with both captains promised to a world of secrecy. What is known however is that the BAMF’s did come out on top. BAMF’s 13 defeating The Duncan’s ‘Unknown’. I’m guessing 13-8, though.
These are the results from the first week of League, Semester 1, 2010
Week 1:
Blue Sharks 13 – Heavyweights 9
Hard Force 13 – Pink BAMFs 11
Motherhuckers 13 - Yellow Duncans 4
Remember, the first team to have all their members pay will play host to the greatest pizza party ever! My team, Heavyweights, we're still in the lead but have a few of the newest additions left to pay. See if you can get a loan for some of them.
Over and out!
| AFDA # | Name | Gender | Diet | Action | ||
| 3956 | Keith Cameron-Smith | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 16164 | James David | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 6591 | Matthew De Witt | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 10409 | David Dehollander | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 12172 | Christopher Ende | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 16327 | Fraser Hartley | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 8515 | Mike Larson | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 6398 | Hugh Osborn | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
| 7738 | Simon Urquhart | m | Meat Eater | contact | ||
Team co-captain Dusty Becker said Monday that while he was sorry, he didn’t see a problem with the team’s recent behaviors.
“Speeding, drinking, nudity they’re not bad things,” he told the executive committee. “They’re things a big portion of the community doesn’t think are wrong.”
He's right. We should send angry letters to the people who made the decision, telling them how angry we are. Someone find their address!




A foray into UltiPorn.
Do you watch Ultimate Porn? If so what takes your fancy?
Ultimate Porn or Ultiporn for short: What is it and who is it for? Well, there are many different forms of Ultiporn, just as there are many forms of internet porn. Some of the forms might be particular fetishes like sex only using the feet or girls with fake breasts as opposed to real ones. Wait, sorry. Some of the forms that excite ultimate players might be media such as videos and pictures of elite level games where players have performed spectacular acts such as throws, dives, and catches, while alternative forms which please could be tightly detailed descriptions of a particular defense or an advanced throwing drill. Other people might even get theirs from seeing minutes of a club’s meetings, team lists from their upcoming tournaments, or emails from their team captain! Just as normal pornography excites and arouses the human desires, so too does ultiporn but to the extreme, this time it's the human's ultimate desires.
Sexxxy???
What types of ultiporn are there? How do you choose a favourite?
When the ultimate senses wish to be indulged and the option of a real game is not there, the potential for other methods of indulgence is realised. The closet pervert among us might prefer top quality pictures of events to pore over, hoping to spy a daring act such as someone laying out or a player getting skied by a big receiver. The text lovers might get it out by reading about their mate scoring on twitter, or perhaps get worked up over the release of the team list for the next national side. The devilish ones out there just can’t wait to get an email back about the funding being approved for a new video camera which they can’t wait to use. The experimental ones might get excited over finding a new website which has all sorts of plays they’d love to try out with their team when the time is right. It's not uncommon for young easily influenced kids even to prefer games such as fantasy ultimate over the real thing.
Of course, if you’re reading this or any other ultimate blog at the moment then you’re already indulging in ultiblog-porn. But rest assured, there’s no need to feel dirty, it’s all perfectly natural. Choosing a favourite type all comes down to experience and ultimate sexual preference.
With so many options how does a new person begin? What is the attraction?
Better than tits?
Obviously the most common mainstream form includes ultimate videos, particularly highlight reel videos (www.ultivillage.com). This is many people’s introduction to the world of Frisbee porn. Of the ultiporn video formats some of us prefer having a full game approach as opposed to those who may only prefer the quick sharp staccato rhythm of highlight reels. Of course people exist who will like watching both full games and highlight reels, and some people may not like any at all. So what is it that attracts some people but not all to even this basic form of ultiporn, because some people just do not get off on this at all? Is it their religious beliefs? Is it a moral or ethical code? Or do they just get enough Ulti Sex, real game-time experiences? These question remain to be asked more often and answered more thoroughly. My belief is that they’re a little bit gay.
For the rest of us anyway, those who don’t yet know where they fit in, we can pick and choose between the different types of ultiporn as we may desire. Some of us may be satisfied with only one or just a few forms. We can also expect that there will be people out there who indulge or have indulged at some time or another in all known forms of ultiporn. Some say change is as good as a holiday, and these people seek change and variety like a hamster seeks out the warm depths of the human colon, as we all too often hear about. Another thing we can be sure of is that there will be people who are shocked when they hear about what another person finds to be a normal and satisfying form of ultiporn!
Case Study #1: Jason DeRooy: Likes: basically all forms of ultiporn from writing emails, filling out blogs, to organising tournaments in his spare time and being executive of QUDA (Queensland Ultimate Disc Association). Lives for ultiporn.
Dislikes: Men in women’s clothing, idle chitchat.
Normal or unacceptable?
So these questions should be asked: What is normal and accepted and what is not? What we should remember is that when it comes to people’s tastes and preferences it will be different for everyone. Where should the line be drawn? For each person this will be different. Some people may draw the line early at the more conventional forms such as highlight reels. Others among us will just keep pushing the boundaries, poring feverishly over administrative details and organising events such as tournaments where their fetishes can be realised and real Ulti Sex can even take place. Every person should feel free to experiment with their Ultiporn desires and be encouraged to step things up to newer levels when a previously favourite experience becomes old.
Acceptance is the new excitement! Go out there and get some ultiporn into you!
The game everyone was looking forward to on this finals night was the wooden spoon game of The Last Surviving Dragons against the wooden spoon minor premiership team The Savages. The Last Surviving Dragons showed up late numbering only five or so minus their captain Matt De Witt who's still off living the dream (ie. not being in Townsville). Meanwhile The Savages surely shook them to the core with their full squad looking pretty intense during a number of warm-up drills. Alas the organisation was to end so soon with the fateful decision to hand over their two superstars 6 foot something-taller-than-most-people Adrian Sullivan and Cody "Quick Hands" Hall to provide numbers and apparently even up the game.