Week 2 - Is that Bacon I smell?

Stay out of the editing room "Observer" aka Duncan Webley. I know your tricks.

Another Wednesday has passed (sad face) and therefore another review of the games must be given. I told your captains to enlighten me with some interesting stories, majestic points scored, and inside jokes for today. I was given a variety of those and I hope you enjoy them, Buddha knows I had a laugh or two. It should also be noted that I am expecting a drop in team lists due to everyone dying from the pub crawl. Go hard I say, but be safe and have some fun. Make memories that can be remembered, or have someone film it so you can remember it in the morning. Either way works wonders for myself and the Facebook group. You are all welcome to participate in an Epic Meal Time - Australia Style, which will commence as soon as we can garner enough people to pay for supplies and decide on a perfect date as I am sure we cannot do it before the crawl as scheduled. Anyways, enjoy the review my friends!


Spastic Spunk vs Clockwork Orange
Spunk take it 13-7

The Spastic Spunk's were nearly renamed to the Premature Spunk when they witnessed the awesome stencil that Amy Nelson did for the team shirts. With the added persona the Spunk got off to a good start by taking the first point only to have Clockwork fast forward time and put two on in rapid succession. The game was tight till half time (7-5), but the Spunk started to build a lead due to a lack of battery power to Carlos and the gang. The competition of this game became quite fierce. War cries from Amy, and jacked up grunts from Bobby ensured a less than clean result. After all, where there is spunk there is blood?! Captain Chris you have a dirty mind whilst sending these reviews, and apparently you understand what it's like to go at a woman "Braveheart Style".

The Blood bath began with Timmy Roland going down in a tight contest and losing the ability of his finger (I blame Old Mary Jane Rotten Crotch and her pretty pink panties - bonus marks if you understand the reference). This was only bettered by Ben Prior backhanding Lucas Langlois, breaking his glasses and leaving what will probably be a nice shiner. Clockwork showed great spirit throughout the game despite all the blood, sweat and spunk! Seriously Chris Ende? That's just gross.


Dark Matter vs The Birds
Darkness take it 13-10

"We take you now, live, to Ollie Williams for his in game report. Ollie?"

"IT'S GO'N RAIN!"

"Thanks Ollie but I guess we'll ask the captains themselves."

With the return of James David the team felt like a win was definitely on the cards. Everyone thought this game was going to be close, and evidently enough it was. Dark Matter had a really strong start, forcing two early turnovers in the first 2 points to take an early 2-0 lead. These goals came from the dynamic duo of James and Dee. From then on they used their immense gravitational force and pushed it to 4-1 with some quick points and ending with a 7-5 half. A-O Suv scored his point for the season to get it to 7. He legitimately doesn't care for them, only assisting them. The birds pecked away and retaliated like a batch of hungry woodpeckers and scored a lot of quick points themselves (strategy against Black - catch them off guard with their laziness). This was a really high intensity and fast paced game, each player ran, and ran, and ran! Highlight was Jamie-Lee scoring 2 solid points for the game (therefore scoring as many as James!) There were good hucks from Ash, Dee with her 5 points, and great effort from both teams.

RedBalls vs Dye Hard Tie Furious
Balls 13-11

RedBull may give you wings, but the Redballs give you everything they have. They started the game strong by getting the first 2 points through some good disc movement and patience from each player. Patience is the key new players. You have 10 seconds to figure out a plan of action. Finny's Tie Dye'd commandos pulled back with the next 3 points via some good long throws and some quick movement, as well as some continuation plays. Tie Dye got a break and took half 7-5, but deep down in the reservoirs of his team, Captain Matty Hamilton pulled out some extra cocaine in a can and shot the effort up 10 fold. They gathered their strength together after half and pulled ahead 10 - 9 where the points went back and forth: 11-10, 12-10, 12-11, and you can guess the end. The highlights throughout the game were significant and deserve mention. On the Redballs, Sean Beveridge performed the ever-incredible "Full body layout" to catch the disc on his right side. It was a really sweet piece of ultimate! Other solid performances came from Mattie H running himself ragged all game and handling really well, as well as Allyissa for running hard all game long with minimal subs! For Dye Hard we had great team work from Rohana, Phil & Jackie working the disc among themselves 3/4s of the way up the field and scoring on their own while Finny, Zane & Stacey just cruised along behind them. Ephrain also has been showing some huge improvment already with his cuts,

Last but not least
Green Lanterns vs Lascivious Ladyfingers
Gay Bananas 13-4

With the return of Captain Christine, "Rolo" Peter Roach, Little Godfrey, Ryan Miller, and Robert Davies, The newly named Green Lanterns were set to take on Hugh's Ladies and one other straggler. Leave it to El'Presidente to grab a ringer in Mike Larson. The all encompassing free agent of Townsville Ultimate. Many can describe him as having the ever amusing personalities and indecisiveness of Anne Heche's sexual orientation. "I'm not playing this semester. I am, I'm not"...and so on and so forth. The Lanterns should have pounced on his poaching skills and focused on using their extra amount of male players to run them into submission. Sadly the deep bombs and teamwork play from Hugh and Larson were too much for some of the beginners on the Green team. Hugh relied also on his female of choice, Sanne. Many have predicted she will take the female rookie award in a clean sweep. She may even give Ms. Femme Fatale (Deanna Finn) a run for her money. The interesting job will be how to break a tie if it occurs. See Air David for suggestions.

Point of the game went to Robert Davies and his acrobatic ankle-slip-back-flip-no look grab. The Lanterns were more concerned with getting everyone to touch the disc. The force is working better as well as the stack with cuts coming from many directions. Game point was also decided by a long point resulting from on going "cockroach" techniques. See other veteran players for clarification.

So there you have it again, and sorry for the late response. It is now 2:45pm on a Friday and I know you are all excited for what is to come. Remember my fellow "Ultimate" friends (PUN INTENDED)...Parties come and go, some are good, others are crappy, and then there are some that are grandiose. Think of a Frisbee Pub Crawl like a party run by Sean "P. Diddy" Combs. They cannot be matched.

And for all the suckers who will attempt a Hangover costume, know that you may not be the only ones to do so, and know that this night is not going to be like your nights in Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. We know that motto, but Townsville has a saying as well:

"What happens in Townsville never really happened."

Our pub crawls are like Pandora's Box. The question is.....can you handle it?

Enjoy the food, the shots, and the memories. See you all in the alcoholic induced gutter we call Flinder's Street.

Your friend and colleague,
The Man with The Dragon Tattoo