And so ends another glorious event in which total strangers
became ultimate friends. From sea to
shining sea; from the edges of abysmal captivity of one’s mundane lifestyle;
from the lonesome depths of a university lecture room, 100+ patrons donned
their creative costumes in epic fashion.
For some members, this seemed just like another date on the calendar
from which we all try and out do ourselves with over the top costumes and
frightful shenanigans. Gone were the
days of simple costume purchasing, and away were the moments of last minute
changes to old clothing we didn’t mind to damage. On this hallowed day we went the extra
mile. On this day, we strived for the
absolute best. We chose to showcase this
awesomeness with our mates in what can only be described as the best showing of
teamwork I have ever seen.
For the newbies (and we always love them), this was a
glimpse into the greatness that you have joined. I can’t sit here and rewrite about how much
you will enjoy your final months in Australia.
I can’t sit here and discuss the
magnitude of how much you will enjoy life as a Frisbee player. You can read through the blog to pub-crawl
posts that have come and gone. They
speak for themselves. What I can give
for you is the same quality of story telling that is only reserved for camping
fires and near death experiences; and I have had my share of those let me tell
you. Your stories of this night will be
immortalized so that you may look upon them when you are back in America (F***
Yeah), Canada, Netherlands, Germany, France….South Africa? Do we have any of them in the league this
year? Regardless, here for your
entertainment, are the best stories from the nights you will always remember.
Now I can’t focus on what happened at the Uni Club because myself
and the other ninjas were fixing some costume malfunctions and basically took a
cab just to meet you on a bus that was heading to a bar we could have walked
too. I blame the Germans we came with
only because we spent the last 40 minutes raging to German techno (Hort ihr die
Signale!). The second I jumped on that
bus I was in awe of the plethora of imagination in front of me. I knew Air David and the rest were pulling
out all the stops and I desperately wanted to out do him. I guess that’s what we get for being legends
of the crawls. I wasn’t in the bus that
fitted more of a manlier match of strength than a pokemon battle. The two Ash’s were deadlocked in a battle of
forearm to wrist strength that really proves who needs a girlfriend more. Lucky little Godfrey “came” out on top in
both this match and the imposter drink off.
FYI, that stunt nearly got them kicked off and I know it’s
not the worst thing we have all done on a bus.
I believe last crawl we had Larson and Ashley straddling each other
while holding onto the railings. Puking
on the bus before stop #1 is also not good for business.
There was a variety of drink offs that put Mario’s, Luigi’s,
and Kitanas to the test. With regards to
the last one I must say you really didn’t have a shot. Dee, we love you, but nobody beats “SL”AMBER in
a drink off. She’s too legit to
quit. I was waiting for the drink off
between the Mario Kart crew and the Mortal Kombat ninjas but I guess we got too
far-gone before that could happen.
From then on we all made our way to the Avenue Tavern where
shots had been ordered. They might as
well have given me a shot of watermelon juice because that’s what it tasted
like. Did those cheap bastards even put
alcohol in them or was I taking a shot of some feminine “sour puss”. This ninja doesn’t go down for sour; in
every aspect of life (BAZINGA). Make sure you remind Pia Boehm that her straw
drinking skills were “humming” to the tune of a lustful nature.
The music was great throughout the night and the times heading
towards town just got messier and more nymphomaniacal. It’s a word, look it up and don’t question
the English teacher. I took many videos
from when we arrived at Consortium. I
love to see the confused look on those whose job is so routine that a mere
slash in their day proves tiresome as well as quixotic. My case in point comes from when the door
girl wanted to stamp me and the other ninjas with their mark but couldn’t due
to our epic planning of costume accuracy.
Soccer shin pads allowed us to get a consortium tattoo on the bicep for
the night.
Timmy’s costume just freaked out every girl who wasn’t on
the crawl. Even now when I watch the
videos I can see Rob Zombie making a hit musical with Timmy as the lead.
Strap on your earmuffs and seizure like a boss, because all
the skrillex (skrillix?) music in the world couldn’t keep us from pushing the
boundaries of our wallets and our dancing spirit. We entered that place with the will to take
over, and by god we did.
Why stop there when we all know a pub-crawl gets a bit
vivacious after 3am. So we headed down
to beach with our trusty leaders and wicked costumes and dove into the waters
of the Corel Sea with barely anything on.
A big thank you goes to the homeless dude for making our night creepier
than Timmy’s costume. And don’t forget
to thank him with a punch in the nuts for hiding the clothes of the honourable
skinny dippers playing chicken wrestling (must be an American thing).
I’m surprised some people’s costumes were still in place after. What’s even more surprising was the fact that
your fearless crawl leader (Timmy) actually managed to make it home without
passing out on another person’s front lawn; or face down in a park; or knee
deep in a bush (Finny); or barely alive from his chiropractic dance moves. Thanks to the girl who took him home. We all know he needs a helping hand (or two)
when succumbing to the aftermath of his crawl organizational skills.
Great move on the shirt disposal as well Tim. I’m sure that Ute driver received a nice WTF
moment when he woke up.
I hope you pushed yourself to the best of your drinking
potential and I wish you all the best this semester. Make every moment count and remember that
Australia will always be here when you want to return.
Happy hunting!
The Man with the Dragon Tattoo
Just desire to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is simply excellent and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject.
ReplyDelete