The Semester 2, 2009, Finals

The League Finals, Semester 2 2009.

The Finals were played on Wednesday the 28th of October '09 in windy conditions between the Racist Dropbears and The Fraternal Order of Red. It was attended by a good sized crowd for the barbecue and to watch the game. Unfortunately the Dropbears were unable to pull it all together against Red and went down 13 to 3.
Well done to both teams for making it this far. Congrats to The Fraternal Order of Red for their success this season and for winning the Townsville Ultimate League Semester 2, '09.

From the top: Beers with Bobby & Finny, Steve throws a flick past his marker Ian, Matt Esser & Katie "Eugoogley" Gilluly manning the barbie, the sideline crowd.

Thanks for another great Semester of Ultimate Frisbee! Looking forward to the next one.
Over and out.

What is your Ultimate Desire?

A foray into UltiPorn.

Do you watch Ultimate Porn? If so what takes your fancy?

Ultimate Porn or Ultiporn for short: What is it and who is it for? Well, there are many different forms of Ultiporn, just as there are many forms of internet porn. Some of the forms might be particular fetishes like sex only using the feet or girls with fake breasts as opposed to real ones. Wait, sorry. Some of the forms that excite ultimate players might be media such as videos and pictures of elite level games where players have performed spectacular acts such as throws, dives, and catches, while alternative forms which please could be tightly detailed descriptions of a particular defense or an advanced throwing drill. Other people might even get theirs from seeing minutes of a club’s meetings, team lists from their upcoming tournaments, or emails from their team captain! Just as normal pornography excites and arouses the human desires, so too does ultiporn but to the extreme, this time it's the human's ultimate desires.

Sexxxy???

What types of ultiporn are there? How do you choose a favourite?

When the ultimate senses wish to be indulged and the option of a real game is not there, the potential for other methods of indulgence is realised. The closet pervert among us might prefer top quality pictures of events to pore over, hoping to spy a daring act such as someone laying out or a player getting skied by a big receiver. The text lovers might get it out by reading about their mate scoring on twitter, or perhaps get worked up over the release of the team list for the next national side. The devilish ones out there just can’t wait to get an email back about the funding being approved for a new video camera which they can’t wait to use. The experimental ones might get excited over finding a new website which has all sorts of plays they’d love to try out with their team when the time is right. It's not uncommon for young easily influenced kids even to prefer games such as fantasy ultimate over the real thing.

Of course, if you’re reading this or any other ultimate blog at the moment then you’re already indulging in ultiblog-porn. But rest assured, there’s no need to feel dirty, it’s all perfectly natural. Choosing a favourite type all comes down to experience and ultimate sexual preference.

With so many options how does a new person begin? What is the attraction?

Better than tits?

Obviously the most common mainstream form includes ultimate videos, particularly highlight reel videos (www.ultivillage.com). This is many people’s introduction to the world of Frisbee porn. Of the ultiporn video formats some of us prefer having a full game approach as opposed to those who may only prefer the quick sharp staccato rhythm of highlight reels. Of course people exist who will like watching both full games and highlight reels, and some people may not like any at all. So what is it that attracts some people but not all to even this basic form of ultiporn, because some people just do not get off on this at all? Is it their religious beliefs? Is it a moral or ethical code? Or do they just get enough Ulti Sex, real game-time experiences? These question remain to be asked more often and answered more thoroughly. My belief is that they’re a little bit gay.

For the rest of us anyway, those who don’t yet know where they fit in, we can pick and choose between the different types of ultiporn as we may desire. Some of us may be satisfied with only one or just a few forms. We can also expect that there will be people out there who indulge or have indulged at some time or another in all known forms of ultiporn. Some say change is as good as a holiday, and these people seek change and variety like a hamster seeks out the warm depths of the human colon, as we all too often hear about. Another thing we can be sure of is that there will be people who are shocked when they hear about what another person finds to be a normal and satisfying form of ultiporn!

Case Study #1: Jason DeRooy: Likes: basically all forms of ultiporn from writing emails, filling out blogs, to organising tournaments in his spare time and being executive of QUDA (Queensland Ultimate Disc Association). Lives for ultiporn.

Dislikes: Men in women’s clothing, idle chitchat.

Normal or unacceptable?

So these questions should be asked: What is normal and accepted and what is not? What we should remember is that when it comes to people’s tastes and preferences it will be different for everyone. Where should the line be drawn? For each person this will be different. Some people may draw the line early at the more conventional forms such as highlight reels. Others among us will just keep pushing the boundaries, poring feverishly over administrative details and organising events such as tournaments where their fetishes can be realised and real Ulti Sex can even take place. Every person should feel free to experiment with their Ultiporn desires and be encouraged to step things up to newer levels when a previously favourite experience becomes old.

Acceptance is the new excitement! Go out there and get some ultiporn into you!

Results of Semi Final Round, Semester 2, 2009

The Semifinals Commence!

The Semifinals commenced this week with some different than expected matchups. The Fraternal Order of Red played against 2nd/3rd placers Hammerheads due to confusion with the team rankings. The Hammerheads had to start off their game without team captain Matt Esser who was off fraternising with other sporting codes for the first hour. The arrival of this ultimate dynamo came too late however with a comeback bringing the final score to The Fraternal Order of Red 13 def. Hammerheads 6. Good luck to the team powerhouse Redcoats in the final.

A handblock from Katie "Eugoogley" Gilluly on Simon "Bob Fossil" Urquhart shook up the big zookeeper pretty good in the later stages of the game. However the dominant display by Simon's team of "Racist Dropbears" made sure to keep the not-so-white Pink Panthers from entering their Zoo...

Bob Fossil - great guy

Racist Dropbears 13 def. Pink Panthers 6 to move ahead to the finals.

The game everyone was looking forward to on this finals night was the wooden spoon game of The Last Surviving Dragons against the wooden spoon minor premiership team The Savages. The Last Surviving Dragons showed up late numbering only five or so minus their captain Matt De Witt who's still off living the dream (ie. not being in Townsville). Meanwhile The Savages surely shook them to the core with their full squad looking pretty intense during a number of warm-up drills. Alas the organisation was to end so soon with the fateful decision to hand over their two superstars 6 foot something-taller-than-most-people Adrian Sullivan and Cody "Quick Hands" Hall to provide numbers and apparently even up the game.

The Savages got off to a dominant start scoring a number of quick points and taking the lead which they held for most of the game. For many of the points the whole team was playing their part helping them to victory while the dragons looked decidedly pick-up-y. The Dragons got their scramble on and took things back with little Matty and southern ring-in Sara Cargill utelising their team and throwing lots of things including a few frisbees to Heather in the endzone for some goals.

Now realising there was a chance they could win a prize this year, albeit the wooden spoon, The Savages were torn apart to go down in history as one of the greatest frisbee teams ever!!! Steve Jamieson has now been on the wooden spoon team both semesters he's played in Townsville. Thank god he will be leaving Townsville in a week or 2, I'm sure this is the same reason he had to leave Adelaide. Good luck though Steve, maybe next time your luck slash frisbee skills will improve.
The Last Surviving Dragons 13 def The Savages 11 (Wooden Spoon winners Semester 2, 2009)

Results of Round 8, Semester 2, 2009

Here are the results of the games from week 8, the last week before the start of the finals. Sorry for delays.


Racist Dropbears defeated Hammerheads
The Fraternal Order of Red defeated The Last Surviving Dragons
Pink Panthers defeated The Savages

SCOREBOARD, WEEK 8, LAST OF REGULAR LEAGUE GAMES

Crazy Nuts!

Look, it's getting tough figuring out scores and shit! But remember! Wednesday Night is the frickin' league final! We've got the Racist Dropbears squaring off against the Redcoats (The Fraternal Order of Red)! We're hoping this game will be a cracker and that you crackers are down there for the barbie, cheap piss, and the heckling. Mike's team will be the obvious underdogs coming into this game (NOooootttT!) and we Australians love to cheer for the underdog. So get your red shit together for this top match. Also remember to bring along some gear to play in as there's gonna be a second field set up for a pickup match on the side (a bit like having salad on the side with a steak - it's nowhere near as good as the steak, and mostly kind of pointless, but it still happens somehow).

Anyway see you all there kids. The results will eventually go up when I'm more sober.

Round 7 Results and Table

Here are the results from the first week back after the midsemester break.

Hammerheads 13 defeated The Last Surviving Dragons 4
The Fraternal Order of Red 13 defeated The Savages 4
Pink Panthers 13 defeated Racist Dropbears

Delays and Holidays

Sorry for the delays on the blog, I haven't been around to do any of the scores and whatnot. Tasmania however had some pretty sweet weather and some really weird looking people like you've never seen before. I will do my best to soon update it and I will probably need Kevin to tally the scores for me cause apparently they're wrong.

Anyhoo, finals begin this Wednesday with it being potentially the last game for many teams. But don't forget that it doesn't end there for you people. The week after will be the finals and a barbecue and it is everyone's job who won't be playing to make it down to the fields. Once there please refer to the acceptable "sport" of heckling and fantasy ultimate (one version of the rules on this page: http://www.mit.edu:8001/activities/ultimate/flu/flu.html) for some great ways to abuse or show love for the players on the winning teams.

Lots of love

Ultimate Frisbee: The Top Frisbee Sport!

According to a recent assumption Ultimate Frisbee is the top frisbee sport!

Image: http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/archives/2008/Sep/
That's frickin right! Stupid penultimate frisbee.

This is fantastic news for any Ultimate player who's had to put up with people laughing at them, girls disrespecting them, work colleagues feeling sorry for them or passerbys in cars yelling "frisbee is for gays!" loudly out their windows. Ha! Ha! Take that all you doubters! Who's having the last laugh/act of abuse/show of sympathy/yell now! Ultimate Frisbee is, that's who.

Frisbee Facts you should know!

For those of you who didn't know an ultimate frisbee frisbee holds: approximately 1630 ml of liquid. That equals approximately 4.34 beers. Or approximately 1.42 jugs of beer. Or 2.86 pints. Or 3.83 schooners. Or 5.71 pots of beer. That equals enough to get you messy if you have 3 or 4 of them.

Use this knowledge wisely. Tell your mates.

Just what are you gonna do now?

Option A: Throw Frisbee
Option B: Drink Beer
Option C: Paperbag girl and have your way
Option D: Pour beer into frisbee, drink beer from frisbee, throw beer, paperbag girl.

Vote now!

True Round 1 Results and Round 6 Scoreboard

*this is the fixed version

The very first game everyone played with their teams will now be added to the tally. The results of these first matches are below.

The Savages defeated The Last Surviving Dragons
The Fraternal Order of Red defeated Racist Dropbears
Pink Panthers defeated Hammerheads

Results of Round 6

Another week has gone by. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves. Here are the results minus the scores which I missed out on getting.

The Last Surviving Dragons 13 defeated The Savages 7
The Fraternal Order of Red defeated Racist Dropbears
Hammerheads 13 defeated Pink Panthers 8

Round 6 Predictions and After Game Comments!

Until I get to add the actual results I thought I'd have a crack at predicting the winners for the next games and mention the idea of getting some after game comments happening.

PREDICTIONS
The Savages over The Last Surviving Dragons (please let this come true)
Hammerheads over Pink Panzies
Racist Dropbears over Redcoats (I'm making Mike's team the underdog so that people feel more inclined to cheer for them)

AFTER GAME COMMENTS
What the other point of this preemptive post was, was to give people an opportunity to post their comments on the teams, their opponents, teammates, and any great performances from people worth a mention, with the opportunity to begin immediately after the game. So let's try and make this particular comments section a bit more of a good wrap section. Begin from this post and we'll see how it works out. It'd be great to hear from individuals in the games. Thanks.

Results Table, Round 4, Semester 2, 2009.

So I'm not too good with computers so it isn't too pretty, but my maths skills are hopefully good enough for this to be the correct tally of Wins and Losses for each team.

Round 4 Results

The Last Surviving Dragons 13 defeated Racist Dropbears (white) 10
The Fraternal Order of Red 13 defeated Pink Panthers 9
Hammerheads 13 defeated The Savages 6

This week we have a special writeup from top dog Kevin Staples on his team's game against what we'll now call the Redcoats. Where did you find that shirt Mike? Here's Kevin:

Score 13-9 in favour of the enemy Redcoats (or whatever their name is).

This match was one of the grudge variety. Red was looking to avenge their tight loss from the week before, while we were trying to keep our winning momentum intact. Defense was the theme of the game, as there were a couple points that were more like marathons held within a square pitch. Even though Red sustained multiple injuries, they were able to fight through this and, buckling down at their own endzone multiple times, take advantage of our turnovers enough to pull out the W. The score is not a good indicator of the closeness of the match, so admitted both sides.

--Media's favourite disk handler,

Kevin

As Kevin points out defense is definitely becoming the deciding factor in these games. Our game against the Hammerheads read very similarly. It was a close and intense game and tough fought for the points we did get even though the score shows differently.

Most teams are now using a zone defense as a main defensive strategy and it is rewarding them with a lot of turnovers close to the endzone at this stage from rushed throws and over-eagerness. It is early days yet so hopefully soon the hard work on offense in these long zone points translates to more goals. Good to see!

Controversial Drunken Dancing Styles - The Handler - A moral obligation or too intense ninja?

We all know the common drunk dance moves on the dance floor such as The Egyptian, or The Sprinkler but who among us has dared use The Handler?

Of all the drunken dance moves I've rehearsed or pulled out in the past I'm sure most people will agree with me when I say that ripping out frisbee moves on the dance floor is a sure way to impress people with your dancing know-how. One of the great things about this dance is that actual throw execution doesn't play a part. You are The Handler, the greatest handler of them all. So you can sit there faking smooth short backhands and then switching and going for the no-look high-release inside-out forehand huck or how bout spreading those legs and throwing lower than you ever thought possible until regrettably you sack yourself, people are gonna be wowed no matter what!
Suddenly a world opens up...

But the moral obligation must come first: Is it fair to use ultimate frisbee moves on the dance floor? Or are they just too intense ninja for normal people?

Some people will argue against it saying you couldn't possibly still have the disc after more than 10 seconds of faking throws, how can you still be dancing?? But my counter to this is that you 'll only have 10 seconds if someone is counting. And who would want it to end, really?

Please be careful.
Please be very careful.

And here's a tip: use only one disc at a time unless you want it to look like only a training session instead of the real thing.

Rules of Ultimate

Below = Pretty Picture:

A Full Sized Playing Field

We have a short time to teach you the game of Ultimate each week so for those who need to/want to know more about the rules here's two links from the AFDA website. The first is just the rules. The second is a more compact version which might suit you better for printing to read in the toilet, while still saving you enough money to buy toilet paper later in the week had you printed the other one.

Normal Version
http://wfdf.org/rules/WFDF%20Rules%20of%20Ultimate%202009.pdf

Compact Toilet Version
http://www.afda.com/resources/WFDF%202009%20Rules%20-%20Pocket%20Format.pdf

Just copy and paste to your address bar. Then read and learn.

Round 3 League Results and Apologies to Kevin

Apologies to the diehard fans such as Kevin Staples and...oh wait that's it at the moment, but I managed to forget to put up scores from Wednesday night. This is quite a booboo because that's about all I have to write about and it's much more fitting when it's closer to a time when you can remember it and it still matters. I would normally try and come up with an excuse but I probably just forgot and maybe went drinking the following day and forgot even more. Sorry Kev, the rest of Townsville Ultimate and Ultimate players of the world, no hard feelings.

Without further ado for Mr Staples and the rest, here are the results from last week.

Pink Panthers 13 defeated The Last Surviving Dragons 12
I'm told that the Dragons had a good lead early but failed to finish it off with a comeback from Pink Panthers stealing the win.

Racist Dropbears 13 defeated The Savages 7?
The Savages are still struggling to find some form early in this league, hopefully once things settle and they get used to playing savage they will get some wins. Some quick disc movement from the Droppies helped them to victory.

Hammerheads 13 defeated The Fraternal Order of Red 12
This showdown between these two stubborn teams went on well after the other two games. The crowd gathered on the sideline cheering on the underdog which was always gonna be the Hammerheads because Mike Larson happens to be captain of Fraternal. The result was some intense playing from everyone on the field and a strong fight back from the Hammerheads to get the win.
As Mike duly noted to his team at the start of the season, the crowd was never gonna be cheering for them in a tight game. I have personally experienced this phenomenon on many separate occasions playing against Mike last semester, however I always thought they cheered for me because I'm such a great guy. I will cheer for you next time Mike, unless we showdown again in this year's finals, then we'll be going for the jugular while looking underdoggy and forlorn so the crowd likes us more.

Successful Barbie! Plus Sausages versus BBQ flavoured Satay Sticks and what to call them!

Thursday, last week, saw what I think was the second club fundraising barbecue of the semester at the Uni Club. The Club's opening hours have now returned to the old closing time of 1am meaning a better, drunker, hungrier night for all.

Thanks again to Duncan for organising the barbie and manning the tongs all night. The addition of kebab sticks/satay sticks with BBQ flavour or whatever you want to call them was definitely an improvement on the thoughtlessness of only offering woolies sausages and tapped into the market of the "person who refuses to support the cause because we're only selling sausages". This is a niche which far too often remains untapped leading to an increase in the number of these people about. However, the strange part about it was that people actually complained when the sausages finally disappeared, so we won't be seeing the end of them anytime soon.

The best part of the night was enjoying the company of those who helped out and all our friends stopping by where they could rest their drink/s allowing the double fisters among us to free up a hand and have a chat. So thanks to everyone who came and helped we had a lot of people there making the night fun. I think Jared managed to keep us in business early on by eating 9 sausages and a kebab stick at last report. All our food ran out with pretty girls lining up for Matt Esser's skills at cooking the satay sticks, which is a great way to finish a barbie! The best thing about it for me was that it allowed me to come out and socialise but kept me tied down and away from the booze a little more. So well done to the barbie!

An intervention will be held next time for Dave Dehollander who drank 6 or so red bulls and became quite strange and spoke really really quickly by the end. This may just involve stealing his car keys and getting him drunk.

Monday Night, Funday Night! Get some extra Practise!

Remember Kids, if you want to get some more practise and learning in during the week besides your uni, we have been running a second night of Frisbee on Mondays! Starting at 8pm down on the Rugby oval (the first one you see on entering) at the University.

The aim is to put a little bit more intensity into the games by focusing on learning to play better, and self improvement through self awareness. There are 2 fields going with different levels of play so it's perfect for beginners looking to get better faster as well.
Over and out.

Results of Round 2 of League

The results of Round 2

The Savages must've jinxed themselves because they ended up having to play savage most of the night. Looks like a couple of stronger teams might be emerging with The Fraternal Order of Red and Racist Dropbears getting their second wins, we'll just have to wait and see.

The Fraternal Order of Red 13 defeated 7 The Last Surviving Dragons
Racist Dropbears 13 defeated 8 Hammerheads
Pink Panthers 13 defeated 7 The Savages

Disc Golf with Zane

Message from Zane:

Hi, if anyone is interested in playing disc golf we are playing at Anderson Park (Cnr Gulliver and Fulham Rd Mundingburra : see Google Maps). Meeting this Sunday 10am August the 30th, at the first car park, which is about 300 metres inside the park from the Gulliver St Entrance. Bring Disc, drinks etc. If you can make it or need further instructions either email, text, or phone 0416949938
Cheers Zane

Internet weirdness and The Last Surviving Dragons' team mascot

Dear Capitan Matthew De Witt,

You are very disturbing in your obsessions and choice of team name. As promised for having the most debatable team name, here is all anyone ever needs to know about the legend behind the team.

Last Surviving Dragon

The photo and the caption below the photo is all you need to enjoy this, but what you should note however is what makes this man a fine specimen ultimate player.
Speed, he is ol' crafty legs.
Height, no pants, makes him seem taller.
Efficiency, wings a mile long.
Intimidation, he has a moustache that reeks of self inflicted pain.
Confidence, just look at that strong knowing body language and tell me it doesn't get you.

Good Luck.

Townsville Ultimate Disc - Results of Round 1 of League, Semester 2, '09

The first competitive round of Townsville Ultimate for Semester 2 '09 was played on Wednesday night with close games throughout. Many teams managed to have strong showings with a good number of players. The Savages showed they'll have never have to play savage with enough people again for 2 whole lines switching up each point. Surprisingly the Pink Panthers were defeated in a game where surely the distraction of grown men looking pretty in pink (Kevin had dreams of his own) would have been enough to throw Simon and The Racist Dropbears off their game, but alas it wasn't to be.

I hope everyone enjoyed their games.

The Fraternal Order of Red 13 Defeated The Savages 9

Hammerheads 13 Defeated The Last Surviving Dragons 11

Racist Dropbears 13 Defeated Pink Panthers 11

Team Names Announced! For Semester 2, 2009.

The Teams in order, including captain and colour, from most debatable to least debatable. Special commendation goes to Matt D, he wins a post dedicated to his team mascot.

The Last Surviving Dragons - Matt De Witt
Racist Dropbears (white) - Simon Urquhart
Pink Panthers - Dave DeHollander
The Savages - Hugh Osborn
The Fraternal Order of Red - Mike "Gary" Larson
Hammerheads - Matt Esser

Townsville has a Blog. Everyone.