Townsville Ultimate Finals: The Holy Grail

Once again we’ve reached the final week of Wednesday ultimate for the semester.  As they say, all good things must come to an end.  Don’t know who ‘they’ are, but definitely have some wise words to say.  Five games determine the final standings for the semester. Most of the teams remaining are only playing for pride, but for two teams have much more at stake.

3^rd Place Playoff – Firetrucking Red Team vs Pinky and the Brain

“We lost the semi, does this still matter?”

Sadly I’ve played in a few of these games and I can tell you from experience; it matters.  Plenty of pride on the line, plus there’s probably some sort of recognition for coming third.  Third place playoff expert Andrew Gosbee once told me “even the best teams sometimes play for third”.  He obviously is very confused and should seek some kind of assistance.  Either way, this game is sure to be fun and good luck to both teams!  Hopefully you guys get certificates or something.

Tip: Pinky and the Brain should win this, Rob Dehollander will most likely be drunk.

5^th Place Playoff – Pancakes vs Green Street Elite

“If we win this we’re top half of the table!”

Something about playing for one of the lower places is never really that appealing.  Not for these two though.  These teams I have no doubt will bring some quality ultimate to the table.  GSE have been solid throughout the whole season and the Pancakes have impressed throughout the finals, even taking down one of the finalists in the first round!  Also happy birthday to GSE member Deanna Finn! Hello Deanna. 

Tip: I’m backing Pancakes for the victory for one reason: Mark Genge, The Gengine.  I don’t even care if he doesn’t play, just the idea of him being there will put feat into any opponent.

Now we come to the two games with the most importance for the night.  Just because they are at opposite ends of the spectrum, doesn’t mean that this first games is any less important.


7^th Place Playoff – Phantasm vs Huck Buddies

“Do you know what place we get if we win?”

Congratulations firstly should go to the Huck Buddies.  They were short on victories throughout the season but still managed to avoid the spoon playoff!  Well done!  This game is always that ‘should we be serious’ game, because there’s a fair bit of pride to play for.   The way both teams are playing this should be a fairly even contest.  I heard Phil has even purchased new wristbands for the occasion.  Hopefully a fun game for everyone is the result!

Tip: Huck Buddies to win this game.  Big game from Eric Lee to shut everyone up would be nice.

WOODEN SPOON PLAYOFF – Dream Team (feat. Weise) vs #YOLO

“Even if we lose still get a trophy!”

Fuck.  The wooden spoon battle is generally a game I try to avoid.  I mean, no one really enjoys coming last.  Let’s be honest with ourselves.  Unfortunately for either #YOLO or The Dream Team, one team will walk away with the trophy that no one really wants.  Each team brings some top-level chat throwers, with the mental battle going a long way to determining the result.  #YOLO have the one they call ‘Mansauce’ (funny story, ask him to tell it) while The Dream Team have the man himself, James ‘doglas’ Weise and Riley ‘definitely no small man syndrome here’ Smith.

Tip: Weise told me that the only reason The Dream Team is playing for the spoon is because he hasn’t been handling.  He also said he can beat Mansauce one on one.  Legend.

The Grand Final – Robust Fawn vs Ducks Tie Together

“One game to rule them all”

After however many weeks it’s been, we have two teams left.  Robust Fawn vs Ducks Tie Together.  If you told me this would be our grand final a few weeks ago, I would have been a bit surprised to be honest.  Just goes to show how much can change in the finals!  Fawn have finally struck the form that everyone has been expecting of them every semester.  I read that team list and always think they should do well.  It’s nice to see it become a reality.  A big part of that has been Christian, some of the things he does on the field are incredible.  On the other side we have the Emilio Estevez fans, Ducks Tie Together.  Finny leads this team from the front, I always know they’re going well when he is on the sideline.  Strong contributors all around the park, they know how to get it done.

Tip: This will be a close game for sure.  The key for Fawn is to keep Finny quiet.  It’s obvious, yet it’s amazing how many teams just can’t seem to do it.  The Ducks on the other hand need a big defensive game.  Throw a zone, contain the handlers and keep the Zane to Christian backhand huck under control.  Too close to call*

 

*Go Fawn!  

Finals Preview 1 (this wasn't written by Mansauce)

Here we are. The Finale. The Big Cheese.  The Big Show. The End Game. The only game that really matters (unless you’ve got sidebets of cookies riding on other games). All season has come down to this. And doesn’t it promise to be a cracker!

But first, let’s look at the tasty appetizers happening prior to the final to whet your Ultimate appetites.

The battle for 3rd

Pinky v Firetrucking Red

What can I say about this game? How about I almost forgot about it and am actually writing this preview last. All season long Pinky were the team to beat. This team is more stacked than a stack of people stacking stacks at a stack stacking contest. They cruised through the regular season, only dropping games when missing key players. EVERYONE was tipping them to make the final. Even Bucky Brooks and that guy knows his football. At the start of the season red didn’t look particularly exciting. About mid way through though they started to put the pieces together. A universe point win against fan favourites #YOLO really ignited their inner fires and propelled them all the way to the semi final. Where they lost. I didn’t see the semi due to complete indifference, but I’d say the reason they lost was because Rob Dehollander wasn’t tall enough.

For Pinky it’s all about doing what they’ve done all season. I’m not sure what that is, but I gather it’s pretty successful. For Firetrucks, it’ll be all about O. It’s gonna be hard to shut down the Pink offence, so converting their scoring opportunities is key.

Pink FTW

The battle for 5^th

Pancakes v Green Street Elite

This is probably where Pancakes deserve to be. Even after their upset win in round 1 of the finals, this team has as much depth as Xena has height. GSE will probably feel unlucky to be here, however they had the hardest run through the finals and much like the NZ Americas Cup team, they just didn’t have the legs. Or should that be hulls? Rudders? Kiwis?

The key for Pancakes is hard D. They’ve got strike weapons on O and their captain seems to be in oddly consistent throwing form, however shutting down GSEs handling line will be tough. For the green machine, it’s all about giving more disc to Tyson and less to Scott. And by that I mean that Scott will no doubt be marked by a good defender so taking said defender out of the contest is a good idea... Not that Scott is rubbish compared to Tyson. I mean, Scott’s good at New Zealand trivia. That’s gotta count for something. Right?

I’m picking GSE over Pancakes.

The battle for 7^th

Phantasm v Huck Buddies

Given how these teams performed during the regular season, playing in this game is a good result for both sides. Phantasm were inconsistent all season, mirroring Phil’s throws. They would get beaten soundly 1 week and then pull out a grinding win the next. Huck Buddies on the other hand were very consistent all season. You have to be to finish 10^th. The mid season injection of tattooed speed demon JD certainly helped the Huckers fortunes, resulting in some form at the right end of the season.

This is a tough one. Both teams are have a solid selection of (semi) experienced players leading them around.  The key for Phantasm will be structure – patience on O and pressuring HBs fragile handling line on D. For the Huckers it’s all about playing up tempo disc. When they play run and gun, it’s hard for most teams to keep up.

I’m tipping Phantasm in a completely unbiased pick.

The battle for the Spoon.

#YOLO v The Dream Team featuring Weise

Here’s a match-up no-one predicted. Early season favourites #YOLO finished 3^rd on the ladder and were looking the goods to make the semis at least according to many pundits. That is until they lost key player and all-round nice guy Wes in the first 10 minutes of their first round finals match against Fawn. YOLO went on to choke badly after that, losing to a particularly robust Fawn side and then giving up against Huck Buddies. If I could speculate why #YOLO dived so badly in the finals, I’d say it was a combination of Bob playing too safe, Mansauce not getting angry enough and Wes not being not injured enough. On the other side of this coin of failure we have Weise. The black team easily have the best jerseys, the best hammers and the most Weises of any team playing. They also have a habit of depending too heavily on long bombs from Osuv to Riley. That’s not to say that’s not an effective game plan, it’s just easy to heckle. Oh that’s another thing, they are good at heckling. Apart from Weise. That guy’s heckles are as good as Finnys. Cos saying ‘dicks for fingers’ constantly doesn’t get old. Ever.

The key for #YOLO is keeping calm. And reading the disc. But mainly keeping calm. The key for Weise is shutting down the upfield options of Bob & Sauce. It’ll be impossible to shut Sauce down, but stopping his easy options upfield will go a long way to securing a W.

#YOLO to avoid the Spoon.

The Grand Final

Ducks Tie Together v Robust Fawn

This should be a great game. Apart from the premier match-up of Finny v Christian, this game should have plenty of intriguing battles. Finny’s team have looked surprisingly solid all season. A 7v2 record and good for and against tell the tale. Even after the rather large hiccup against Pancakes the other week, Ducks managed to show why they deserve to be in the final. Robust Fawn have had to do it the hard way. They’ve have to beat teams with serious quality to make the grand final and they’ve done it well. The best zone in the league combined with some precision offence makes Fawn a serious contender.

The key for Together will be how they handle the junk Fawn will no doubt employ. With the leagues best deep in Christian protecting against long bombs, it’ll be up to the Tie Together poppers to get the job done. For Fawn it’s about shutting down Finny on D. Shut down Finny and Ducks fall apart quicker than Colin Duffys pants come down after playing beer pong.

This is a hard game to tip. The sensible bet is tie dye, especially with Zane rumoured to be absent for Fawn, however Fawn have been a tour de force in the finals and momentum is a key factor. I’m going Ducks in a game tighter than Finny’s wallet.

Semi-Finals and So Much More! (Not Actually That Much More)

Usually at some point towards the end of semester, I get bored and write a blog when Phang can’t.  This semester, Phang can probably still write one but I’m that bored.  This is what my life has come to. 

This week in Townsville Ultimate Disc leaves us with four teams battling it out for the 2 spots in the Grand Final next week!  Let’s check out the two matches.

Game 1 – Robust Fawn vs Firetrucking Red Team

After what can be described as a couple of years of ‘mediocrity’, it’s good to see the Fawn finally putting the pieces together and playing some great disc.  Seemingly floating under the radar all semester has paid dividends, with lethal speed combo Christian and Kramer running circles around the opposition.  For those of you playing at home, contrary to popular belief Kramer’s first name is not Kramer; it’s Michael.  I know, weird.  Along with Zane Quinn (inaugural Quinn’s Strike Back captain) and a lineup that know each other’s games inside out, it’s no wonder they’ve made it this far.

Firetrucking Red Team are a completely different prospect.  This team is a bit of a mixed bag.  You’ve got some of Mattie Hamilton’s usual suspects from the ‘Mitey Discs’ days, some really tall timber in the girls and then of course go-go-gadget arms himself, Rob Dehollander.  This team seems to have hit form at exactly the right time, with everyone on the team playing some great ultimate.  I can tell you from playing this team, they will be very tough to beat.

Prediction: this game could go down to the wire, both teams have a very real chance.  I think the 90 minute time cap could come in to effect here, with one of these teams taking the victory by 1.  My money is on Red, Rob Dehollander knows how to get it done.  Throws a sick hammer too.

Game 2 – Pinky and the Brain vs Ducks Tie Together

Pinky and the Brain have been just about unstoppable this semester.  Excluding the two hiccups during the season, they haven’t really looked like losing.  Even with the Huck Buddies playing the game of their lives last week, Pink still held it together and got the win.  This team has some serious ability in their line-up, they can have 7 on the field but still have a couple of quality handlers/receivers on the bench.  It’s almost unfair!  The challenge for Pinky is whether they can live up to the hype and keep their run going, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Ducks Tie Together have had an interesting season.  Finny typically leads from the front, playing “GIVE ME THE DISC, I REALLY WANT THE DISC” ultimate.  This season you could say they have been a bit unnoticed, only losing the two games during the regular season.  A shock loss in round 1 of the finals made their run a bit tougher, but they still find themselves here in the finals.  Again, some quality players on this team and there’s no reason why they can’t take down Pinky.  Well, none I can think of at least. Pinky are pretty good.  Ok, maybe there are a couple of reasons.

Prediction: Pinky were my favourites to win from Day 1. This team almost makes the ‘too good’ category.  They’ve shown this throughout the semester.  Can the Ducks take them down?  It’s not impossible, but it’ll be a pretty big upset.  I have my ‘I Love Rob Davies’ sign ready to go. Pinky to win this one 13-7.

Best of the Rest

All the other games are a great opportunity to settle any score that might have arisen during the semester.  Some quick predictions:

GSE vs Huck Buddies: Phipps is a legend. HB win.

Phantasm vs #YOLO: Phil vs Mansauce. Lolasaurus. Phantasm win.

Dream Team vs Pancakes: Weise likes Pancakes.  Fun – real winner.

#YOLO vs Pancakes: Dave Dehollander is still left handed. #YOLO win.

GSE vs Phantasm: Scott Adams, forever blowing bubbles. GSE win.

Dream Team vs Huck Buddies.  8 v 9. The Battle of Tottenham. James Weise vs James David. James to win.

The two semi-finals should be great to watch, so if you get a chance to definitely take it.  Nothing wrong with the occasional heckle or supportive comment.  Preferably heckle.  Actually, definitely heckle.  “Nice catch…..dickhead” – personal favourite.  Simple but effective.

Good luck to everyone playing!

*edit: Mansauce is a smelly pirate hooker.
*further edit: Mansauce smells like big foot's dick.

Playoffs Preview

We are finally here. The Playoffs. The Finals. The Road to Redemption. Call it whatever you want but eight weeks of regular season Ultimate have ended and we are in the knockout stages of the season. According to our esteemed league director, all teams have a chance to make it the the Grand Finals and vie for the championship spot.

I won't get into the nitty gritty of how the knockout stages work because it's posted on the Townsville Ultimate page. The only important thing is that it's a double-header and, unless you are first or second, you will get knocked out if you lose.

Game 1 - Pinky and the Brain VS Huck Buddies

Word has been going around the league for a while now that PatB are the most stacked team in the league; and with the likes of Chris Palazzi, Andy, Rob Davies, Pete Roach, and Ash Dodd it's not hard to see why. They have able handlers and they have adept receivers, and, if they manage to get all their players to show up on game day they will score more points than you can shake a stick at. Despite losing to #YOLO (I think) and Phantasm (can I get a hoorah), they still managed to top the table thanks to their impressive point differential. Let's hope for Huck Buddies' sake that they will miss a couple of key players come Wednesday.

At the other end of the spectrum we have Huck Buddies. I like the Huck Buddies, I really do. They always have like 47 players on the sidelines cheering the team on and just generally having great fun. But then good spirit doesn't win you medals does it? Okay that was harsh. But seriously though, it doesn't. Huck Buddies have one win in nine games this season and honestly don't look like they will make it far in the knockout stages. But if my memory serves me right, I seem to remember a last place green team featuring the venerable Josh Phipps coming from last place to winning the championship a couple of seasons ago so it isn't over until the fat lady sings.

Prediction: Pinky and the Brain 13 - Huck Buddies (Biddies? Can we call you guys Huck Biddies?) 3

Game 2 - Ducks Tie Together VS Pancakes

If I had to pick one player to compare Finny to, it would be Tom Brady (or however Tom Brady-ish you can get in this league). He has the skills, he has the leadership, he can read plays, and unfortunately, he also... Likes to put his vast knowledge of Ultimate rules into good use. DTT also have other pretty decent players like Bobby, Brandon, and Carlos and they look tipped to make it to the Grand Finals and win the championship.

Honestly I expected Pancakes to do a lot better than second last. They have Chris Ende, Genge, and Johannes who are all very experienced and can play in various positions. Maybe Kristina should stop holding the team back, I don't know. I've heard that Chris Ende has been reading up on his Ultimate rules. Remember, when in doubt just contest the call.

Prediction: Ducks Tie Together 10 - Pancakes 7

Game 3 - #YOLO VS Robust Fawn

Despite not staying true to their namesake, #YOLO have done really well this season. They have the second best scoring record in the league so that's something for their opponents to think about. They are definitely one of the teams I'd tip to make the Grand Finals. Also, shout out to my boy Callum; I heard he dominated Weise last week so expect him to do the same this week.

Don't let their position on the table fool you; Robust Fawn have a very solid lineup and are dangerous in all departments of the game. Although the loss of Kim will be felt, they still have able players in Kramer, Kelly, Christian and the ever-wise backhand master Zane. They might not have done exceptionally well during the regular season, but let's not forget the playoffs are a completely different story.

Prediction: #YOLO 10 - Robust Fawn 9

Game 4 - Firetrucking Red Team VS The Dream Team ft. Weise

Of course the two teams with the longest names have to play each other. The Red Team has put in some impressive performances this semester and it's not surprising to see them in the top four. Rob will provide some height in the deep areas for the Red Team but the team is well-balanced overall. Their victory over DTT destroyed tie-dyes hopes of winning the minor premier; will they destroy The Dream Team's hopes of making the Grand Finals tonight?

I do feel that The Dream Team would've done a lot better if Weise would stop poaching 20m from his player. All jokes aside, the Dream Team do have experience and skill on their side. Ash is a great thrower and Bevo and Riley are receivers who are more than capable of making that 30% hammer into a 100% touchdown. And when Ash's hammer count goes up, so does my happiness.

Prediction: Firetrucking Red Team 6 - The Dream Team ft. Weise 8

Game 5 - Phantasm VS Green Street Elite

The last time these two teams faced off was a huge gale blowing across the fields and it looks like conditions won't be ideal tonight with the weather station predicting a 40% chance of rain. Looks like any hope of these two teams squaring off in good old-fashioned windless Townsville style is diminishing. GSE look domineering with their impressive lineup of handlers and more than adept receivers but they go up against the majestic Phantasm. Let us remember that this was one of the two teams to beat Pinky and the Brain. This should be a good match up, probably the best one tonight so everyone should come support Game 5.

Prediction: Phantasm 9 - Green Street Elite 8