Whoa! All I can say is I’ve lost my Pub Crawl virginity in the right way at the right time!!! There’s no way any other pub crawl or meagre night could have topped that!!! If that is my only ever pub crawl I will still die happy with my efforts. I doubt it will be my last though.
The night began with the red-carpetesque arrival of everyone to Campus throughout the next hour, as each person entered heads turned to see who’d outdone whom in the costume stakes. Names were ticked off, green armbands were given and trusty goon-punch cups thrust into the awaiting hands with directions toward the large vessel holding each arrivee’s fate for the evening. The barbecue was tightly manned. There was a bevy of girls with delicate wings affixed to their fairy costumes, well-trimmed commercial pilots with aviators masking their features and scruffy air force pilots in jumpsuits. There were also cute ghosts, bees, ladybeetles, a pyjama-clad sand(wo)man, hippies. A superhero theme – a bat(wo)man and a Captain Finny. Iceman from TopGun joined the dogfight. A couple of Buzz Lightyears were unpacked. There were some questionables such as a double rainbow, which was “starting to look like a triple rainbow” as the night progressed. A white haired white eyed guy freaked everyone out but still we didn’t know. Penguins - WTF mate!? I like, I like. There was also some culture a famous cartoon character from Norway, Carlson on the roof, a guy with helicopter bits and a beer gut that us non-Norwegians had to learn about. There were some cultural questionables donning tribal feather headpieces. And then there was a simple young terrorist with boomsticks ready to blow us all SKY HIGH!!!
And so began the party! The copious amounts of goon-punch provided received some early and surprised compliments before some minor ingredients ran out and taste-buds lacked to tell the difference. “10 minutes till bus, drink up” was announced just as the 30L container was once again topped up with another 3 or 4 few casks of goon and a splash (bottle) of Rumba! Five minutes later it was almost all gone!
First stop Riverview Tavern! Feeling seedy already but we got stuck into the jugs and shots here! Loud chanting of names this week not allowed “ECHO! ECHO!”. Pub goers enjoyed the company of most of us, even though we might have blocked their view of the Friday night Footy at times! Mike tried his best to announce time till departure using his best MC abilities, even employing height on a chair to tame the voices, but alas, more chanting! Each word of his spoken was mere ammunition to the horde fostering their repetition of a chosen word. But the message found its way across as I don’t believe we lost a soul. Dignity later perhaps but souls and individuals were safe tonight!
Let’s go! Next stop, I have no idea where! 60 odd people on a bus once again traveling blind, darkness outside the bus and intoxication inside the head! I do believe we made our way to Cannon Park and the pub there, Irish Finnegan’s. Suddenly, as is the true beauty of such a pub crawl, the bar came alive. Known facts about a Pub Crawl: makes previously dull and boring location suddenly fucking awesome!!! Some spruiking of the soon to exist Small Adventure Club begins with Co-President of the SAC over a game of pool as beer takes control. Another rule of pub crawls: They also make you start to feel very comfortable about doing things that you shouldn’t. A lot of people danced.
Another great part of the night spent as we head out to await the bus after finishing up the stint here. Bus delays, WTF all you had to do was wait there for us, where did you go bus/bus driver? The double rainbow idea is now starting to feel a bit more like a Gay Jesus than a triple rainbow as I made a final return to the pub smoking area alone to scan for lost Frisbee players. The derogatory thought had been implanted by Dave only hours earlier and it had seeped its way in.
Again the bus. Spirits are very VERY high. I’m not sure but I bet it was jostling inside this thing as we made our way. Complete blackness outside the bright lights inside. Nothing suss going on in the bus or so we thought, but once again, where are we? Townsville has finally appeared like a large city and made us feel lost. We arrive at Unknown Destination Number 3! Everyone has climbed off and is almost inside when I follow TopGun back having heard that somehow a magical spew has appeared. The night has claimed its first victim. Upon returning the magical spew has vanished. The bus driver has redeemed himself, and also run out of rags. Hooray! I get to keep both my rainbows…this time!
“Venue 3” is a great place to hit after the first few. If I hadn’t known better I would have guessed we’d left Townsville, because I was at a pub I’d never been to. This is like a cheap holiday! Get real drunk, drive around in the dark and forget you’re still in Townsville. The lighting inside is getting darker. It’s working hand-in-hand with an increase in blood-alcohol level. Lots more dancing and silly stuff. Party looking “EPIC”. Steve Irwin is here. At least I think it’s him, or is it the ghost of Steve? He’s brought a great big bloody crocodile! Time to impress people with skills from outside of Ultimate - tackling reptiles. But I have a feeling I wasn’t the only one who thought they knew how this was done. What else happened! No one knows. Sketchy bits……….
Bus….Sketchy bits again….
We’re in town on the bus still! Outside Flynn’s. Here’s familiar territory! And with familiar territory comes the decision I’d been dreading. Do I need to don a t-shirt and remove my gay jesus costume to appeal to the bouncers, the spear poking Romans of Towntown or should I risk persecution for the cause that I embody? People start slapping me on the bare skin of my back. Perhaps as they walk past to exit the bus, or perhaps just because they’re sadisic. Then it gets harder. They’ve started using the wooden spoons from Carson on the Roof’s propeller. Decision made. My back hurts and the night is young. I am putting a shirt on. Enter Flynn’s. Time for more jugs I can only imagine tasted delicious! Costumes everywhere! And so ended my pub crawl cause the rest is a blur!
I hope everyone had not just a great night, but one of the best nights of their year so far! Thanks to everyone who helped out in some way and particularly to Sam and Sarah for their efforts in organising such a memorable event (we know there’s something good to remember, we just don’t know the details)!
Hugh