Townsville Ultimate Disc Blog

The Final Rankings

2011-11-01T14:42:00.011+10:00

Hello there lovely Frisbee fanatics! Hope all is going well in your lives and that you are living as stress-free as possible, despite the feeling of impending doom that surrounds final exams. Here is a combination of the review of the final games and the final rankings of the semester. We'll keep it short and sweet as most of us have heaps of studying ahead.

1st PLACE: The Green Lanterns

Disc-Hammering Honeys (DHD) dubbed: Team Phoenix

Grand Finals result
Green Lanterns 13 d. Dark Matter 12

What heart-felt story can outshine the journey of a team that sat at the bottom of the rankings rising up a overcoming all to take home the gold? After a dismal 0-3 start at the beginning of the semester and their captain injured, the Lanterns' hope was dwindling fast. However all that changed when Mike "The Phoenix" Larson stepped in a took charge of the floundering fledglings. With a bit of discipline and leadership, the Lanterns' flame was reignited as they overcame the then first-ranked Dark Matter. After that initial win, Green would settle for nothing less than victory, battling it out ever week and slowly rising in the rankings. Entering the Finals as the number 5 seed, the Lanterns knew they had it in them to win it all. After an easy victory of Tie-Dye, they faced the reign of the RedBalls undefeated dynasty. But Green was not phased: they fought their way to victory, giving the Balls their first, and only, loss of the season. The Final game neared, and they knew that facing Dark Matter would yet again prove to be a challenge. With a hard fought game on both sides, this game was drawn out for hours, each team scoring right after each other. It came down to the infamous Universe Point. Both teams yearned for the glory, but in the end Green was victorious. The Lanterns' perseverance and determination bought a fairy-tale ending to the classic rags-to-riches story. Congratulations Green Lanterns! We're so proud of you!

2nd PLACE: Dark Matter

DHD dubbed: Team Fantasy

This team's theme song should definitely be LMFAO's "Sexy and I know it," because these sexy disc-lovers have known their worth since the beginning of the semester. Remember when everyone feared and envied the almighty Dark Matter as they went on a 3-0winning streak right off the bat? Remember how the dynamic duo of Ashley and James scared the shit out of everyone? And how Dee's D's, assists, and scoring seemed unstoppable? Yeah, this team knew they were hot from the very start. However, a few struggles along the way brought some losses, and they slowly drifted under the radar as the Redballs took over... well virtually everything. But that didn't stop Dark Matter's confidence in their abilities. Entering the Finals at the number 3 seed, this team played the most magnificent games and really proved their skill during every Finals game. When game against Spastic Spunk and the Ladyfingers came down to the Universe Point, Dark Matter proved as clutch as always in securing the win. They brought this confidence with them into the final game against the Green Lanterns, where, with the help of Victoria's beautiful layout, they yet again brought the game to the Universe Point. Although they did not score that final point, the energy they brought to the field was electric as they fought with blood, sweat and tears. No other team showed as much pure love of the game as Dark Matter did this season. The cohesiveness between their novice and national players was unparalleled. Congratulations Dark Matter! Your spirit made you the team everyone wished they could be a part of.

3rd PLACE: RedBalls

DHD dubbed: Team Reign-of-Terror

What can we say? Everyone feared RedBalls. When teams found out they were playing you, they often immediately admitted defeat. Every player on your team was incredibly skilled, from the power trio of DaMaVo to the athletic divas Katie and Liss. RedBalls was on fire, and played the best out of every team this semester. Unfortunately a loss to Green Lanterns in the Semi-Finals, likely resulting from the absence of captain Mattie "BEEF TRAIN" Hamilton, ruined your shot at the gold, but in everyone's minds, you won. You won in athletic performance, you won in 'most feared,' but you also won in best mindset. Every game the RedBalls played was played to the fullest. No matter how many players showed up, they always brought their best performance, and that was the key to their success. Everyone on RedBalls simply loved playing and fought until the end for what they loved. All other teams will admit that playing your team was not only the most challenging game they've played all semester, but also the most fun. This honorable team is well deserving of the Bronze. Congratulations RedBalls! "You can't win 'em all," but you were pretty damned close.

4th PLACE: Lascivious LadyFingers

DHD dubbed: Most Stretchable

If we had given out an award for the most difficult team name to pronounce, this team would have won hands down. Although you were not feared as much as RedBalls, you never failed to intimidate every team you played, simply because of your team's combined height. With so many D's you'd forget there were other letters in the alphabet, Hugh "Stretch" Osborn and Rob "Major minor" Dehollander brought their team confidence and skill, and when both were on the field at the same time, discs were constantly grounded. It seemed plain unfair. This team had the highest point differential out of all the teams (meaning they won by the most points), and we speculate that this is likely because opposing teams often internally cried when ALL their plays were shut down. Although they fell victim to Dark Matter in the Semi-Finals, the intimidation surrounding this team still remains. Who would have thought the seemingly harmless Ladyboys would kick some serious ass? Although you didn't make the top three, be proud Ladyfingers! You guys were consistently awesome!

5th PLACE: Dye Fast Tie Furious

DHD dubbed: Most Spirited

If ever there was a team who was so competitive on the field, yet so genuinely nice off, that team would be Tie-Dye. With incredible shirts and even more amazing leadership of Finny "high socks" and Zane "the PhD guy," this team was simply awesome in general. Sure, being personally heckled and teased by Finny during the game was probably more annoying than "in good fun," but after the game he was sure to compliment you on your skill. Games played against Tie-Dye were not only fun and incredibly althletically demanding, but they were always fair. This team showed everyone what the true meaning of following the "spirit of the game." Whether the game had the importance of the quarter-finals or was a complete muck-around game ("everyone must play with alcohol in their hand"), this team played with heart and gave everyone the chance to touch the disc and be part of the team. Congratulations Dye Fast Tie Furious! You made everyone on your team feel like a winner!

6th PLACE: Spastic Spunk

DHD dubbed: Best Cumback

If you didn't think Ultimate Disc could get an sexier, Spastic Spunk certainly proved you wrong. From the get-go, we knew there was something "special" about this team: cartoon sperm in the front and penises galore in the back. After the first couple unlucky games, most thought they were simply putting on a show for the other teams. But later in the semester their spunky attitudes on the field finally proved victorious. Spunk was flying everywhere and this team grew a liking to their own spunk victories. After a marvelous victory of the Green Lanterns, Spunk proved they were a force to be reckoned with. Despite early elimination from the Finals bracket, Spunk did not lose hope and continued playing every game as if it were their last. They were the only team whose emotion successfully penetrated the concentration of nearly every other team. They got inside everyone's head (including their own at time), and that proved to be their secret weapon. Who couldn't love this team for all the sexual jokes and semen references all semester long? Congratulations Spastic Spunk! You definitely turned us on!

7th PLACE: Clockwork Orange

DHD dubbed: Manliest Men and Sexiest Ladies

Clearly the most unlucky team of all, who played marvelous games only to fall short in the final minutes. Week after week they sat at the bottom of the rankings ladder, and most thought they were on the verge of calling it quits altogether. However, this team was never phased by their shortcomings. Clockwork Orange was the most under-appreciated team, coming back every week, playing tough games, and never letting opponents get the easy win. Their main set-back this semester was definitely the lack of played. With injuries happening almost every game, and simply low attendance at games, this team seemed from afar to be the weakest team. However, every game they played lasted all night, as the few devoted players who showed up were some of the most athletic players the game has ever seen. Playing (nearly) every single game with no subs, Clockwork Orange was still able to out run teams with more subs than actual players. Congratulations Clockwork Orange! You're the most admirable team by far!

THE WOODEN SPOON: The Birds

DHD dubbed: Highest Lactic Acid Tolerance

Last but definitely not least this semester were the Birds. Being ranked 1st in the pre-season rankings, the Birds were seen as a threat to most teams. Then the second week of disc, they all show up with bright pink shirts with the most awesome design of a bird shitting on a kid, and that sealed the deal. They were incredibly confident, which threw a lot of teams off. Not to mention that they would tire out every opposing team member (including subs) before half-time. This team was clearly a force of athleticism and skill. However, their decline started after their loss to the Ladyfingers in week 4. Although they fought hard against every team they played after that, they were never able to find another win. They had beautiful come-backs and even more gorgeous technique, but would always fall short, usually due to missing leaders. In the final battle for the wooden spoon, this team found itself stranded with all beginners: Bekah, Dane, Cody, and Damon were all MIA. Under the leadership of Mark "Poke-me-Man" Franich, and under the influence of drugs and alcohol, the birds gracefully fell from all they had worked for and acquired the infamous wooden spoon. However, they will always be remembered as the team who gave everyone a run for their money, especially since EVERY SINGLE PLAYER was seemingly a freaking marathon runner who never tired. Congratulations Birds! Everyone wants your athleticism!

So that was not short and sweet at all, and it definitely took me a lot longer than expected, but it doesn't really matter. The Disc Hammering Honeys truly believe everyone who came out and joined Frisbee this semester is a winner. Whether you've been playing for 8 years, or whether the first time you touched a disc was back in August: We've all won. Everyone played with an incredible amount of heart, spirit, and love. Competitiveness was fun, but everyone left feelings of "we're better than you" or "I hate you" out on the field and came together as a family after every game. I don't know about you guys, but that is what I call genuine happiness and lasting friendship. In 20 years, no one will remember what place your team ended up in, but we'll all remember the feeling of unity and ultimate bond between us as Frisbee players. If you haven't already, make sure you read TMWTDT's blog post summarizing the semester. It's sure to reinforce those feelings of love and camaraderie.

It has been an honour writing for you in recent weeks! Hope to see you all tomorrow night for the Australia vs. the World game! Get keen!!!

xoxoxo

-The Disc-Hammering Honeys

Other Awards:

MVPs
Male - Dane West (The Birds)
Female - Deanna Finn (Dark Matter)

International MVPs
Male - TJ Kelly (Clockwork Orange)
Female - Amy Nelson (Spastic Spunk)

Best Rookie
Male - Manuel Vega
Female - Sanne Nielsen

Heart Award
Male - Johannes Hammer-Li (Clockwork Orange)
Female - Sanne Nielsen (Lascivious Ladyfingers)

TOWNSVILLE ULTIMATE DISC

The Final Frontier

2011-10-30T20:43:00.001+10:00

Ultimate friends beware, this is not a post about the battle between Star Wars fans and those of the Trek. Instead, this is a final farewell to the ones we've loved and still love; the ones who have left us; and the ones who will always be there for us in person or by a series of tubes (internet joke for all the Daily Show fans - Jon Stewart). Dare I repeat myself in saying that my words of wisdom in the beginning still hold true for your final weeks in Australia. I do so dare, and I will add a final set of rules to follow (Life's 3 Rules).

August (Welcome to the Jungle)

Townsville Ultimate Frisbee has commenced once more. Don't you dare hold back, and don't be the one to say: "If only I was more social, how much more fun would I have had." You get what you put into it.
Welcome to Mother Nature's Thunderdome...and congratulations on realizing this:
"Life is a book, and those who don't travel only read the first page."

Let's break these sentences down with the help of evidence from the past semester. Did you hold back when your team was down 4 points? Did you run end to end searching for that elusive Universe Point? Did you interact with everyone? Your pub crawl can answer the last question, and it's safe to say that the usage of the "cup" defense had pushed everyone to their boundaries. As I watched the other games from afar I could see the smiles on everyone's faces, the cheers which bonded each other in hilarity and enthusiasm. My Buddha was there a plethora of t-shirt designs! What did I see? I saw people putting in an effort to be social and veer vastly out of their comfort zone and break out of their shell. And what have these people been given back? Well that is of your own sound judgment because you get what you put into it.

The best example of this concept comes from Becca and Danielle. At first they seemed like a couple out of their element. I made the connection to a North African couple seeing snow for the first time; quite amazed at their surroundings. Their first act was to help a man they never met. HE WASN'T MAROLYIN MANSON! What started out as an act of compassion gave way to memories they will never forget. For if it was not for the initial gut reaction for them to be social, we would not have the amazingly talented "Disc Hammering Honeys" The nicknames may not have existed.

Relationships have been formed. TJ and Becca; Zach and Ket, and many more have enjoyed each others company (either for their duration of study or a simple night of "winning") Giggity!

Rule #1 - Paradox

The best piece of wisdom I can leave you all with is this: Life is the present moment. Nothing else means more to your happiness. When you're running down that field and skying the opposition, or when your hands are raised and placed on each teammate's shoulders during the post game discussions, you are forever living in the present moment. You're not thinking about the bills to pay or the assignments to finish, nor are you worried of any sort mishap that may befall your life path. You are devoted 100% to that one moment in time where nothing else matters but what is actually going on. Life is full of wondrous elements, and if you open your eyes and appreciate your peers and your connections made this semester then you will finally realise that life has no ordinary moments. There is never nothing going on. This future that you believe in, this past life you look back on in either love or disgust means nothing. What matters is that you are here, now, in this moment, with friends by your side and love in your hearts. Life is not about a fixed destination, rather it is about the journey you take and the events along the way. You cannot foresee them, and you most certainly cannot control life. It is a paradoxical bitch whose temper knows no bounds. Life beats you down and provides you with obstacles (walls) to stop your progression towards true happiness. BREAK THROUGH THOSE WALLS! You can do this by sacrificing control. And control is sacrificed most when you are living in the present moment. When you jumped into Crystal Creek from atop the rocks, when you sky'd the opponent in the endzone for that Universe point, that's when your mind was empty.

The trick is staying in that habit of being out of your mind. It takes a lifetime of practice. You are the power to break through the walls of life and your friends provide you with the wrecking ball.

Rule #2 - Humour

How many stories have you been treated to at the beginning of Wednesday's action? What of the mighty Timmy Roland and his resting place of a sidewalk afar from his own house after the pub crawl? How many pranks have been pulled to other members of their team. Some people thought it was quite humourous to pull one on the Dragon Man himself. Well played Clockwork Orange, well played. Finally, Tara's "white girl wasted" alter ego made sure to show her face at the Halloween party. No more toilet paper for you Jersey Shore House. The point I am trying to make is that you have to keep a sense of humour about EVERYTHING. Even about yourself, humour is a strength beyond all measure. It dissipates the sadness and calms the stresses away. Laugh when you can and even laugh at yourself. No one judges you in this family, and sometimes life will be hard for absolutely no reason at all. Laugh, smile, be happy.

Rule #3 - Change

Nothing stays the same. Some of you will never be here again. Some have loved and lost, others have changed majors, careers, houses, and even friendships. The only thing in this life that is constant is change. You can't escape it. The universe is balance. If you try and hold it, you will lose it. If you try and force it, it will falter. This rule of life is hand in hand with Rule 1. When you realise that life will change at any moment, without your control, you will be able to stay "out of your mind".

So what now?

If by some drastic reason you have still not felt the acceptance and paternal care of our family I can assure you that hope is not lost. There is still time. Exams are approaching and they are important. So manage your time and make the most of your final days. Some of you will never be here again, and you will know how that feels when you're reading through your news feed. Ask yourself this:

"Have you done all in your power to make the most of your journey? What else can you do to end with a bang?"

I swear to Buddha that if I don't see anyone smiling as I pass them in campus I will resort to funny faces and enticing antics that will embarrass the shit out of you. I fuckin' love you guys. Do me a favour. Go outside right meow! Raise your head to the stars and hold it high, giving three cheers for everyone you have met.

3 cheers for the Spastic Spunk, 3 cheers for Dark Matter, 3 cheers for the Redballs, 3 cheers for the Birds, 3 cheers for Dye Fast Tie Furious, 3 cheers for the Ladyboys (sorry Lascivious Ladyfingers), 3 cheers for Clockwork Orange, and 3 for the Green Lanterns.

3 cheers for heart, 3 cheers for memories, and 3 cheers for technology and Facebook. For if not for the latter, we would not be able to look back on our lives and enjoy it a second time when we are about to pass on in this world.

You are now a part of history, a section that contributes to the annals of Ultimate Frisbee in Townsville. I do my best to live a life based on the virtues pictured on my arm: Veracity, Courage, Respect, Duty, Compassion, Justice, and Honour. We are the only true judges of our character, mighty samurai warriors whose purpose is to pay it forward and lead the way to a shining future.

...and like it has been said before: Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

When you leave Mother Nature's Thunderdome and into the bitter winters of the Northern Hemisphere, remember that you took a journey and you read countless pages of your life story. You traveled and now you have been able to feel the world at your feet.

Goodbye and Buddha/Alah/Shiva/Moses/Spaghetti Monster/and John Smith Bless you all.

With all the paternal and genuine love which I possess, forever and honourably your Ultimate friend,
Mitchell Joseph Sokolowski
The Man With The Dragon Tattoo

p.s. unless you forgot, Hugh is not a real blackbelt. ;)

Healthy posting!

2011-10-25T17:28:00.003+10:00

So it appears that the flurry of blog posts appearing after the week-long lull is set to continue. Rather than spread the reading out throughout the week we're going to beat you into blog-reading submission and overwhelm you by the sheer volume of posts in lieu of regularity.

POST NUMBER THREE FOR TUESDAY AWAY!!!

PS. Don't forget to read the other 2, they're down here and here....

Semi-finals Reviews

2011-10-25T16:53:00.001+10:00

Upsets, comebacks (or cumbacks in the case of Spunk), D’s, scores, and all the works were seen in last week’s semis/placing matches. Without further ado:

RedBalls vs. The Green Lanterns

13-7 Green Lanterns

When Mattie “BEEF-TRAIN” Hamilton admitted his fear about not being present at the match between his RedBalls and the Green Lanterns, he wasn’t just shitting himself. Was it the breakdown of Death-Star Damavo or the sheer force of the Rebel Lanterns’ phoenix-like ascendance? Without the RedBall Empire’s great Darth Vader to lead them, RedBalls were left scrambling to cut through the Rebel Lanterns’ zone. RedBalls threw every color of lightsaber defense against the Lanterns; zone, man, assassin Mike, assassin Pete, two man cup, man D on handlers-zone D in the field – but all were to no avail. With General Obi-Wan-Larson and handling from the-Han-Solo-with-a-dragon-tattoo and Chewy Roach, the Green Lanterns cracked the Death Star, taking the half 7-0. Green’s Andrew Skywalker had a fantastic game, including an epic goal against RedBalls’ zone, contributing to one of Green’s many points. In the second half, Green essentially outscored the Sith Lords of the RedBalls. RedBalls did not go down without a fight, however, calling on the Dark side of the Force to beat Green’s zone. Redballs’ Darth Sidious Bevo and Darth Maul Katie used fast transitions to grab a couple points in a row. Unfortunately for RedBalls, the Rebel Lanterns weren’t finished. Green’s Godfrey C-3PO caught a one-handed hammer over RedBalls’ Dave to score an excellent point, while Green’s Margrete Skywalker ran cup the whole game, helping the Rebel Lanterns shut down the RedBalls. In the end, it was the upset of the season with the toppling of the RedBall Empire and the rise of the Rebel Lanterns.

Lascivious LadyFingers vs. Dark Matter

13-12 Dark Matter

Without game reviews from either captain, it’s like this match didn’t even take place. Hugh “Stretch” Osborn’s Lascivious Ladyfingers were not vanquished, and Ashley “the 7-times-mentioned” O’Sullivan’s Dark Matter did not win off of their second Universe Point in the last two weeks. So for all of those watching this “match” last week, know this: IT WAS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. NOTHING HAPPENED. THERE WAS NO GAME. It is all a highly fictionalized ploy/mind-fuck of the Townsville Ultimate. The newly developed brain-ninja-mind-wash was highly successful. We would like to thoroughly thank you all for participating in this exciting new development. Next week, we will be testing it again for the grand finals, so if you think you see a match between Dark Matter and the Green Lanterns, it probably is not actually occurring. So whoever wins is not the actual winner, and you are not actually at a Frisbee match. You are probably smoking something fun. Be sure to thank us for that.

Dye Fast Tie Furious vs. Clockwork Orange

13-11 Dye-Fast Tie-Furious

A fairly relaxed game set out on field 3, with players lacking from both teams in the matchup. When only four Clockwork Orange players showed up to face Dye-Fast Tie-Furious, it looked like it was going to be a shit-show, also known as a forfeit for those non-Frisbee fanatics. Thankfully for Orange, Tie-Dye was in a sharing mood, and lent Orange a couple female players, allowing the game to instead be a well-contested match instead of a veritable trampling. Orange’s TJ “traffic-cone” Kelly continued his reign o’ catching, snatching multiple points and flying across the field like Superman on crack. With help from the handling Hulks of Ben and Carlos, it seemed like TJ’s super speed had no kryptonite. Zane and Finny handled for Tie-Dye, challenging Orange’s defense while cracking down on Orange’s speedy offense, like Batman and Robin whipping the scoundrels of Gotham City. The game came down to the rivalry between the Iron Man-skill (the Iron Fist of catching?) of Finny and the Wolverine-fierce TJ. Despite the Spiderman-like reflexes of Orange, in the end it was Tie-Dye that stole the title of Captain America – er, Captain Frisbee.

Spastic Spunk vs. The Birds

13-10 Spastic Spunk

Spunk vs Birds, AKA “The Hangover.” What began as a game of drunken revelry ended with a concussion and another scandalous cumback from Spastic Spunk. Spunk’s drinking fest began well before the game started, which certainly made the game interesting. Bobby “the Beast” Jackson and Quint “squint Spunk” had a little difficulty catching discs with a bottle of beer in one hand, but the cheerful Birds weren’t too phased. Despite missing players (but no missing teeth), both teams played quite competitively. Starting the game with a couple quickie points gave Spunk a big head (the top one, guys), allowing the Birds to take advantage of their overconfidence, swoop in, and ram points down Spunk’s throat. The Bird’s formidable Cody had Spunk wondering whether their drinks got rufied. The halftime saw a score of 7-4 favoring the Birds, and that’s when the losing hangover started to kick in. With KING Duncan “Shrek Spunk” puppy-dogging it and Spunk’s resident tiger Bobby “the Beast” Jackson living up to his nickname, Spunk began their vicious cumback. Unfortunately for Honey #1, Danielle “Twinkle-Toes”, being on the receiving end of one of Bobby’s tackles left her with a mild concussion, but one more point on the scoreboard for the Birds. She’ll be feeling THAT hangover for a couple of days! Apologies aside, Spunk came harder and faster, gaining points like they take shots. Honey #2, Becca “speedy Spunk”, one of the few (mostly) sober players on Spunk, pantsed the Bird boys and scored points left and right, including getting on top of the winning point. And that folks, is how The Townsville Ultimate Queen does it.

In closing, GET KEEN FOR GRAND FINALS!!!

xoxoxo

<3 your Disc-Hammering Honeys

Grand Finale: A preview of mayhem

2011-10-25T11:54:00.017+10:00

Your favourite Disc Hammering Honeys have been kidnapped by this menacing Villain and you must now pay attention to my words once again! Muhahaha!

LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT I SAY:

Tomorrow night is the Grand Finale to my master plans! I have created a playoff situation in which two of your favourites will be pitted against each other. The outcome will be less than favourable for one of these protagonists. Who will it be, the glowing Green Lantern or the dastardly Dark Matter? Or will I just choose to punish both?

Whatever the outcome I want you to watch (click the link) like these people during my last Grand Finale.

So the Green Lanterns, lead by the capable captain Mike “Orangutanga” Larson, have conquered the insurmountable, creeping their way from the bottom of the ladder during the first half of the season to enter the finals. Helped by the unwavering green light thrown forth by the good strong shoulders of the parkfitters – Ryan, Vega, Mitch, Tara – and a bunch of other athletes.

Dark Matter started the season sucking teams into its void but then continued to shrink in size throughout the semester until only recently. Its strength grew when it finally sucked through nearby stars James David minor one and Deanna Finn supercomplex three into its ranks. They have increased its power and will be at critical mass tomorrow night.

The game I have set forth seeks to challenge both teams by knowing both their strengths and their weaknesses and finding a balance between the two. There will be various means for the complexities that I have created to reveal themselves throughout the game.

Captain Mike Larson has always known what seems to be a winning formula for the Townsville League having won countless grandfinals, in fact almost all Townsville Grand Finals during his short run at the sport. What he doesn’t know is that this fact alone must be counteracted by others. His Achilles heel if you will has been softened in recent games – a Mixed Nats injury evened out by a well placed Dehollander kick last week took some more of the spring from his step, so though fitness is at an all time high for his career, injury concerns may not be wiped from memory before the game begins and this could weaken his on field control. The mere mention of this fact and release of this sensitive information could inspire some added challenges from Dark Matter.

Dark Matter, has a smaller roster of athletic and tall male players. Besides the star of James David, this height has been under-utelised by captain Ash-O. Will throws that force competition in height be unmatchable in this game and can the Achilles heel of Mike be weakened further to prevent aerial dominance by the orangutang cloud? Will it be a good strategy to use now or should it be avoided with a chance of Mike looming.

The Green Lantern army will be running strongly with endzone looks appearing from plenty of athleticism amongst the ranks. They will surely out-endure the smaller roster of Dark Matter but with an army waiting on the sideline will this just mean no player finds their rhythm on the field? Another wildcard I have placed into this game is Peter "soft trigger" Roach. Recently captured unbeknownst to the Green Lanterns, he has been tampered with and his trigger release is softer than ever and will fire unexpectedly, "just touch it, it's really light" he'll say "BAM!". This could be advantageous if it finds Mike in the endzone or could serve Dark Matter up some more chances with the disc. Muhahaha!

Seeds of doubt over his own ability have been planted evilly in Ashley O’Sullivan's mind over the season, but has the team weeded out these seeds with their recent strong wins lead by a team growing in strength with the like of Jason and Damien reaching dominance onfield during their games? The rest of his team has been stepping up to take the wins in recent weeks rather than their primary handler Ash. Should this trend continue or should he attempt to take control again and say to them and himself "I can do this better"? Will there be harmony of thoughts in this team like the calm of a forest of tall eucalypts on a windless day or will the chainsaw of doubt wreak havoc to this tall timber team?

These are just some of the mechanisms at play that I have constructed for tomorrow night’s game. Of course a true villain never reveals all of his secrets, or is that a magician? – YOU will never know!

As a sidegame I have also schemed the implementation in the audience of Fantasy Ultimate, giving each of you on the sideline the false opinion that you have some control over the outcome of the game I have manipulated in so many ways and can help your friends. Surely your screaming and abuse couldn’t possibly assist/hinder the outcome of one team on the field, you don’t have that power? For this game I have designated winners who I have pre-set to score the most fantasy points and those I have destined for failure.

For the female to score highest in the dreams of the sideline I have programmed Deanna Finn to tally the most points in a man offense situation. Limited mistakes and a majority of goals, she will be required to play hard to see the victory for Dark Matter take place. Her overall score will be 5 points. Mike Larson has been selected from the opposing team. His successful strategy in the Townsville league places full control of his side in his own hands. Goal throws will only come from him and cuts will be controlled by his magical directions...or so he thinks? Can the fantasy player who selects him copy his talent and seamlessly argue his errors away and attribute any mistakes to his receivers? If so his score will be high, points will come from throwing most of the goals on his team's way to grabbing a 13 - 9 victory with a few sneaking in there from his own grabs in the endzone thrown from Peter. Predictions are ranked as 8 points if his Achilles heel doesn’t weaken, but who says it won’t?

The lowest scorer on the fantasy scale has been given to the recently self-deprecating Ashley O’Sullivan. Can his teammates raise him up in time? Has his own pre-finals psyche-up of looking at pictures of Hugh playing Ultimate from facebook assisted in keeping him from being shut out of the game this week? If morale is low come the night, expect to see him somehow attribute errors on the receiver's end back to his own fantasy score and watch it drop. His throw hit you in the chest once more but you dropped it? Not your fault! Be a team player and pretend it was your asthma kicking in and your mind playing tricks on you and blame it on the thrower! If confidence is lacking he'll take the fall for this too! If he Ashley can wipe fault from his mind, expect to see a similar high score to Mike's from lots of great completions to the endzone and his tall receivers and safe hands moving the disc upfield. It'll either be negative 11 or plus 6.

The loser of this playoff situation will meet a gruesome and entertaining end. Be there to watch.

Oh and by the way, I will release the Disc Hammering Honeys from captivity under 3 strict criteria, if these are not met they will face their doom:

a: The release of the results of last week's games.

b: Their preview of the finals and the remaining 3 placing games whose match-ups are not yet known to me. But only if these details are released in the next 12 hours.

c: Everyone must attend the barbecuing of those who have not attended in the last 2 weeks (they've been in the meat freezer). There will be a feast. And I want you there while you watch the sick ending I have in store for your protagonists.

Quarter Final Reviews

2011-10-18T15:29:00.002+10:00

Last week saw Townsville Ultimate Frisbee’s hottest night of the year (and we don’t just mean the temperature). The first round of finals contained some handsome handling (looking at you, Ashley-1), fantastic Frisbee fingering finesse (we mean catches, guys, keep your minds out of the gutter), hulk-like hucks, dedicated dives, lovely layouts, and swift sprints. Fabulous job all, and if you don’t believe us, just think back to how the games looked at the beginning of the year (major ouch there). Without further ado, on to the reviews!

RedBalls vs Clockwork Orange

13-7 Unbeatable Balls

When Redballs rolled onto Field 1, they expected an easy win, but Clockwork Orange wasn’t going to make it anywhere near easy. Mattie “BEEF-TRAIN” and his Balls brought the usual force, but Orange fought back valiantly throughout the game. The absence of several players made Orange stumble a bit, but they persevered and gave Redballs a challenging match. The comfortable cakewalk that the Balls expected instead became a battered battlefield. Clockwork Orange maxed out its super speed, calling on the fleet-footed TJ “traffic-cone” Kelly to catch long throws. Over the course of the game, TJ was a thorn in Redball’s sensitive areas (i.e. the endzone!), allowing Orange to grab points before the Balls could even say “traffic-cone.” Those damn Americans. Always causing so much trouble. Orange’s Josh also proved to be a key player and gave the Balls grief with his mis-match against Ball’s Liss. Josh managed to shut down Liss and her disc-domination for a good portion of the game, making the sweat drip down those Balls. However, to Orange’s great dismay, the Balls were once again too big to handle for the opposing team. Redballs’ almighty Damavo brought down their reign of terror, with excellent snatches and catches by Bevo. As Orange began to grow weary, Redballs just kept coming, grabbing points like nobody’s business, and Orange was ultimately unable to keep up. Too bad you couldn’t have sealed the score early like the Balls, Ashley-2! It would have saved you some seriously sore muscles.

Lascivious LadyFingers vs The Birds

13-7 Banana Bitches

This battle between two of the most fit teams in the league was assumed to be a fight until the end. However, with only 5 players at the start of the game, the Birds had to scrounge up 2 more players in about five minutes or they would be forced to forfeit. They managed to find enough players, but the Birds were not the same spirited team we’ve seen in previous weeks; they were mentally defeated from the start. Hugh “Stretch” Osborn’s beautifully in-sync Ladyfingers played an amazingly athletic game, while the Birds were struggling to get a good pull down the field. The Birds definitely could have benefitted from another stellar handler like Ashley-3 on Dark Matter, since key players Cody, Damon, and Stephen were all MIA. Dane “The Savior” West did a great job motivating the disappointed Birds, while Nick “The Beast” Hill brought aggressive offense and killer spirit. When the Birds switched to a 3-guy/4-gal offense to give their males a rest, they started getting back on the scoring track, giving the Birds some hope going into the 7-4 half-time. But right as the Birds started playing with promising skill, the mighty Bananas shut them down with seemingly magical plays. Rob “The Not-so-Minor” Dehollander D-ed so many discs that those watching thought he was King Kong swatting those planes away from the Empire State Building. The Bananas sealed off the game with beautiful playing, but the Birds were just glad to have some fun and give them a run for their money.

Dark Matter vs Spastic Spunk

13-12 Dark Oblivion

What looked like a sure victory for Dark Matter after halftime turned out to be an epic struggle for dominance as Spastic Spunk pulled out a hot and sweaty comeback. Can you say CUM-back? The night started out tough for Dark Matter straightaway, who was forced to play with only 7 players (5 guys, 2 gals). Spunk slammed a couple quick points before Dark Matter jumped back into the game with their signature long catches. Under the sure hand of Ashley-4, Dark Matter stole the first half away as Spunk began to fumble, resulting in a 7-4 halftime score. Spunk and Dark Matter traded points, Spunk still lagging behind but fighting every point ferociously (major game highlights – Spunk’s Jake completely shutting Dark Matter’s James DOWN), leading the score up to 12-8 favoring Dark Matter. At this point, it looked like Dark Matter had the game in the bag. As the other games finished and players from the other matches came over to watch, they looked at the scoreboard and walked away, assuming the end was near. But Spunk was not finished. Feeling the intense pressure, Spunk took advantage of Dark Matter’s exhaustion and, unbelievably to all those watching, racked up the scoreboard. With each side fighting desperately, Spunk pulled hard on the score to make it 12-9, then 12-10, then it was 12-11, and after a long and difficult point, it was 12-12. Dark Matter, energy drained, began to despair as the Spunk came harder and harder, gaining momentum with each point scored. At the Universe Point, Dark Matter believed they were gone. They could barely run, and poor Ashley-5 could barely raise his arms to throw, but after an intense, hotly contested final point (including Spunk’s Quint whacking a huge D!), Dark Matter managed to snatch the elusive Universe Point. Mad props to Spunk for the craziest comeback this Frisbee season and major props to Dark Matter for winning with only 7 players!

Dye Fast Tie Furious vs The Green Lanterns

13-4 The Glowing Lamps

After being shot down and often overlooked by multiple teams early on in the season, the Rebel Lanterns are finally seeing some results as they prove their status within the Frisbee Republic. However, last week’s battle against the Tie-Dye Jedis was not easily won. Despite Master Finny’s untimely absence, the Tie-Dye padawans led by Jedi Knight Zane proved rather worthy opponents for the Rebel Lanterns. Tie-Dye started the game with many long hucks down the field that left the Lanterns frazzled with defense; they sure let the Rebels know that negotiations would be far from peaceful. All padawan players proved their loyalty to the Force, with Knight-like performances, and Princess Jackie Leia remained a BAMF fighting on the side of the Jedis this week. However, General Larson, leader of this Rebel troops, once again led his team to victory. With lots of teamwork and a wide point spread across male and female soldiers, the Rebels tired out the young Jedis and did not look back. Rebel Zach sealed negotiations with a lunging one handed grab from an overzealous half-field hammer throw to score a goal. Although this week’s game was merely peaceful intra-Rebel Alliance fun, the weeks to come will prove difficult for the Rebel soldiers who will find themselves facing true danger fighting the RedBalls Empire. And if the Force continues with them, they may even end up saving the Galaxy from the Sith Emperor Ashley-6.

Next week is semis! Get keen you sexy suds! Yeah we mean you again, Ashley-7!

xoxoxo

<3 your Disc-Hammering Honeys

Villains at Mixed Nationals 2011

2011-10-17T23:27:00.007+10:00

We just look good, nuff said!

Top - L to R - Becky Hill, Mike "Gary" Larson, Kelsey Aikens, Audrey Siple, Hamish Pope, Zach "Jugs" Thurston, Kim "Kimbo Slice" Benson, Matt "Finny" Finn, Deanna "Dee" Finn, Simon Urquhart, Bekah Ziegman, Hugh "Pugh" Osborn.
Bottom - L to R - Dusty Czok, Matt "Bass" De Witt, Amy Nelson, Derek "D-Train" O'Connell, Stephen "Scoobs" Dowdell, Christine Kline.

Glad we made it to the end!

This post receives

THE OFFICIAL SEAL OF VILLAINY

Semi-Finals, Semester 2, 2011

2011-10-17T22:42:00.002+10:00

Bet you were thinking it was all over, no sir/madam, this is the Social League! Games are to be played out to placings and this week is every team's second last hoorah before the real night we're waiting for, featuring the Grand Finals and the Wooden Spoon playoff.

The rain may have come and washed Incy away today and over the weekend, but if it comes again Wednesday night, do not dismay, ultimate in the rain is an experience and is one of the few sports, excluding water sports that become more fun when it's wet. So here it is!

This week (19/10/11) is the Semis:
1 vs 4 - RedBalls vs. Green Lanterns
2 vs 3 - Lascivious LadyFingers vs. Dark Matter
Following week (26/10/11) - Winners move to Grand Final, Losers play off for 3rd/4th

Lower Bracket Semis
5 vs 8 - Dye Fast Tie Furious vs. Clockwork Orange
6 vs 7 - The Birds vs.Spastic Spunk

Following week - Winners play off for 5th/6th, Losers battle for 7th and the Wooden Spoon (the other path to immortality).

Grand Final night next week will feature barbecue, "BYO soft drinks", all the placing games, spectating of the Grand Final, heckling, awards,... the prospect of sex?, and the conclusion to a great semester (barring the rematch of Australia VS. The World during SWOT Vac).

So get ready for the last few weeks of Ultimate for the semester! Captains and players, get word out to your teammates that they're needed now for the final push! Enjoy your next few games.

El Co-Presidente
Hugh Osborn (no "e")

Villains Results

2011-10-14T00:17:00.004+10:00

Recently a the Villains squad headed down to the Australian Mixed Ultimate Championships in Melbourne. A total of 18 players, 10 guys and 8 girls made up the team. The Villains played a total of nine games over 3 days, split 3, 4, and then finally 2.

For those of you interested, check out the results page for the scores from AMUC 2011. There may or may not follow a short write-up on the games.

Day 1:

The first day boasted the toughest match-ups for our pool and harshly ended with zero wins from three games. The closest game came during our first with a narrow 12 - 13 loss to the 4th seeded Black Sheep, a weaker team than last year. VICE were solid and we finished us off 15 - 8. Black Cockerals were played later in the day when energy levels overall had dropped among the ranks mostly due to our less than 20min lunch break providing either too little time to digest or not enough time to eat. The Black Cockerals were a team of only a handful of guys who were overly cocksure for sure. Unfortunately for them they were not impressive performers as a team and their girls received very little of the disc. Our defense lacked any kick and we lost this one 15 - 10.

Day 2:
Awoke with a game against the second best jerseys at the tournament, WordArt (WA), with their Microsoft Word 97 3D word designs creating a a clever name and uniform. The WA line-up featured former Townsville President Denyer, while our line-up featured a total of four former and one current Townsville President with two of them being WA based currently. Their team's strengths and weaknesses were known. The game played during the first touch of cold, wind, and rain combined for the tournament and the rest of the day featured sporadic elements of each. WordArt was steadily gaining the lead throughout this game. A comeback in the end got us another 5 or so points which helped us unknowingly later in the day. During this comeback Deanna Finn playing in the cup managed to acquire a layout callahan point off a Denyer pass in the endzone! Whoohoo! She was told that it wasn't possible to top that, but that the glory would come to an end when someone else got one. 15 - 11 WordArt

Next up was Ultimate Evolution from SA?. This team was unexpectedly

FINALS Week 1 Previews!

2011-10-11T15:04:00.002+10:00

Our dearest Frisbee Fiends,

It’s time. Time for the most epic rounds of Frisbee this semester. The Red Robin rounds have drawn to a close and finals are upon us. Think of this as a brand new, albeit dirt-encrusted, page of your Frisbee lives. You all have the chance for glory. You all have the chance for greatness. It’s all or nothing. We want to see you come to the fields with your hearts pounding, ready to run, huck, catch, and D. Check your watches, because it’s time to WIN!

RedBalls vs Clockwork Orange

The opening match of finals on field one will see the unconquerable Redballs versus the undaunted Clockwork Orange. The lightning-fast Damavo will face competition from another trio, Clockwork’s own TJ “traffic cone” Kelly, Josh, and Carlos. Mattie “the winning BEEFTRAIN” Hamilton has more win in sight, however, and will stop at nothing to keep his record flawless. The game plan will most likely see a 2-gals, 5-guys ratio, due to a lack of female players on Redballs. With few female players of their own, Clockwork Orange probably won’t complain too much. With all that muscly manpower on the fields, it will be a real battle of the balls!

Honeys’ forecast: 13-9 Balls, balls, and more balls

Lascivious LadyFingers vs The Birds

With both the Ladyfingers and the Birds coming off of last week’s hard losses, each team will be looking for redemption. Hugh “stretch” Osborn and his Ladyboys are sure to seek out those long points but they’ll face a hefty challenge from the undeniable agility of the Birds. If the Ladyfingers don’t watch out, the Birds will run them into the ground. The Ladyfingers are still a force to be reckoned with, however, and the Birds need to bring their top game if they want to beat the bananas. Will the comeback queens make the biggest comeback of all and take the game home? Or will the Ladyfingers return to their dominating ways and emerge victorious?

Honeys’ forecast: 13-11 the pink Avians

Dark Matter vs Spastic Spunk

Each team fresh off a win, Dark Matter and Spastic Spunk both have the confidence and skill to win. It will come down to who wants to win, and who shows up. Dark Matter will be flexing its big guns James, who will definitely pose a challenge for Bobby “the beast” Jackson, Nick “beard spunk,” and Aaron “sporty spunk.” Duncan “Shrek spunk” will be MIA this week, which could give Dark Matter some openings. But if Spunk’s zone is on fire this week, Dark Matter will have serious problems overcoming Spunk’s speedy sprinters. On the female side, it will be Dark Matter’s Dee versus Amy “snazzy spunk.” Amy will certainly be bringing a cyclone force to the field – so girls and boys watch out!

Honeys’ forecast: 13-10 Spunkin it FTW!

Dye Fast Tie Furious vs The Green Lanterns

Like a recurring nightmare, the Green Lanterns and Tie-Dye will be facing each other once more. And if this dream can’t get any worse, Finny will be off at mixed nats, leaving Tie-Dye with a leadership void. The Green Lantern’s General will be sure to take advantage of this and will be pushing hard to score as many quick and long points as possible. Tie-Dye will be working double time to fend off the Lanterns, but they certainly have the ability to come out on top this time. The Lanterns are keen to light the way to one more win, however, and they won’t make it easy for Tie-Dye to score.

Honeys’ forecast: 13-6 Lime Lamps

Time for finals. Let’s see what you are made of!

xoxoxo

<3 your Disc-Hammering Honeys

Disclaimer: one of your lovely Honeys was getting a tattoo while the other typed this week’s blog in between singing songs to ease the pain of the tattoo, so any complaints about blog lateness can suck it. Love you!

Week 8 Power Rankings

2011-10-11T15:02:00.002+10:00

1. RedBalls

All Mattie “the winning BEEFTRAIN” Hamilton has to say is “all I do is WIN WIN WIN no matter WHAT!” Redballs sit comfortably at the top of the Frisbee pyramid, undefeated and feeling pretty cocky. But let’s face it, they have every right to be. No one has got as big of balls as they do. The inconquerable Damavo will be looking to take home finals, continuing their streak of perfection. Redballs solo females Liss and Katie will force Redballs to play 2 gals, 5 guys in the game against Clockwork Orange. We will see if Redballs can go through finals unscathed!

2. Lascivious LadyFingers

After last week’s major loss, Hugh “stretch” Osborn and his Ladyboys will be hungry for some victory. The Ladyfingers will have to pull themselves together if they want to come back strong, especially as they will be facing stiff competition from the Birds.

3. Dark Matter

Dark Matter’s win against Clockwork Orange last has boosted their confidence after recent breakdown of team chemistry. They will be eager to win again in this week’s game against Spunk.

4. Dye Fast Tie Furious

Tie-Dye will be facing the Green Lanterns again this week, like a recurrent nightmare. Finny’s absence this week may pose a challenge, but Tie-Dye has every ability to dominate, as long as the team comes onto the field ready to win.

5. The Green Lanterns

The General’s Green Lanterns are infused with confidence after their win against Tie-Dye. Will they be able to win once more? The Lanterns certainly think so. This team’s rise from the bottom has the potential to carry it up to the top during the finals.

6. Spastic Spunk

Spunk, spunk, spunk. With two super sexy wins in their pants, Spunk is starting to look like a brand new team. Spunk will be facing off with Dark Matter in the first round of finals. Will they obliterate the darkness with their Spunk? If Amy and Bobby have anything to say about it, that is a resounding YES.

7. The Birds

The Birds seems to be suffering from Bird Flu recently. After a couple weeks of losses, the Birds are certainly ready for some winning in their game against the Ladyfingers this week. The comeback queens will be looking for their chance to fly to the top during the finals. Squawk it out, Birds: “Death-From-Above!”

8. Clockwork Orange

Clockwork Orange has a will to win, but hasn’t quite been able to make it happen. However, the finals could be the start of a new winning streak for Orange. Without the leadership of Timmy, the other Orange boys will have to step up and to take home the gold.

Ladder

Pos Team Wins Losses For Against Differential

1 RedBalls 7 0 91 60 31

2 Lascivious LadyFingers 5 2 82 52 30

3 Dark Matter 4 3 80 76 4

4 Dye Fast Tie Furious 3 4 70 77 -7

5 The Green Lanterns 3 4 63 78 -15

6 Spastic Spunk 3 4 62 81 -19

7 The Birds 2 5 76 70 6

8 Clockwork Orange 1 6 68 89 -21

Great job in the Red Robin rounds, everyone! Get pumped for finals!

xoxoxo

<3 the Disc-Hammering Honeys

Final Red Robin Round Full of Dramatic Performances

2011-10-10T20:41:00.004+10:00

Another great week for Frisbee! The last of the Red Robin rounds were played with a lot of heart, spirit, and intensity. Thank you all for coming out and get psyched for the finals!

The Birds vs Spastic Spunk
SpUnK! 13-10

It was a passionate battle for the coveted position on top, with two very determined teams. Spastic Spunk came out hard, jerking the lead from the start. The Birds scratched and clawed back, squawking up a storm. Their quick feet sliced through Spunk’s zone, giving the Spastics a hard workout. However, Spunk was able to penetrate the endzone just a bit faster than the Birds, making it a 7-5 halftime score for Spunk. In typical, Death-From-Halftime fashion, the Birds focused beady eyes on a comeback, and the game began in earnest. The Birds’ Nick and Steve with handling from Cody ripped through Spunk, catching up to Spunk’s lead. Nick “beard spunk” and Duncan “Shrek spunk” desperately put their bodies on the line to ferociously fend off the Birds; Nick diving and rolling in the dirt as if it were a lost lover and Duncan carving out a crater on the field (no, that was not a stray asteroid). Felix smashed a major D to prevent Spunk from scoring, while Dane grabbed points so fast, Spunk couldn’t even say “squirt.” Bobby “the beast” Jackson had another spasticly-inspired game, sprinting, spunking, scoring, and smacking some discs with a vengeance. On the female side, it was the Birds’ Bekah versus Becca “speedy spunk”, with superb handling from Bekah and quick snatches from Becca. Amy “snazzy spunk” played with her usual ferocity, screaming bloody murder and running all over the place, while Danielle (suffering from whooping cough) kept the Birds spirits high with numerous cheers from the sidelines after almost collapsing mid-game from a cough attack. In the end, there were some seriously spunked-up Birds, and Spunk streaked to their second victory in a row. After the game, the Disc-Hammering Honeys reunited in love, keen to be rivals no longer.

Lascivious LadyFingers vs RedBalls
Balls Deep 13-6

Bananas versus Balls, phallic imagery gone wild; possibly the most hyped game all season. The top two teams were battling it out for the glory of the number 1 seed last week. However, “all winning, all the time” was the only thing on the Balls’ mind. With only two girls, they were forced to play with only six players as they could not fulfill the required 3-4 girl-guy ratio, but that was not going to stop this power-hungry team. At the start of the game, the Balls were shrivelling in fear as the Ladyfingers scored the first point of the game. However, in true Charlie Sheen fashion, the Balls were winning left and right. Scoring 11 points in a row (yes, ELEVEN!), the Balls were on fire, close to finishing the season off with one hell of a climax. The Balls’ six man zone was proving to be more than the Ladyfingers’ seven man offense could handle. Every player played with heart and passion, but none proved to have more balls than Liss and Katie, who yet again played the entire game with no subs. Near the end, however, the bananas started to finally penetrate the Balls, scoring a fair 5 points more before the end of the game. Aside from all the winning, sibling rivalry was ever apparent as Rob skied his big brother Dave in what was later deemed a classic: “Dehollander skies Dehollander!” Although the Ladyfingers were worthy opponents, they simply couldn’t handle the pressure of playing the undefeated and unstoppable RedBalls! It definitely seems like the Balls are, in Charlie Sheen’s words, addicted to winning, and the Ladyfingers just couldn’t bring it this week. Thus the Reign of the Balls continues into the Finals. Can they ever be stopped? Probably not, ‘cuz nobody’s got bigger balls than this team.

The Green Lanterns vs Dye Fast Tie Furious
Green Machine 13-8

A valiant game was fought last week between the tie-dye fanatics and the green machines, as both teams brought a lot of heart to the field. However, the return of Christine to the Lanterns and a lack of players for the multi-colours led to a green victory. With Mike, Christine, and Peter as handlers, the Lanterns were able to score multiple long-distance points against Tie-dye. The multi-colours fought back ferociously as they released a T-Rex defense to try and halt the movement of these power-hungry Hulks. However, Mike pulled a sneak attack and avoided this defense by throwing to Tara, who gracefully caught the disc in the endzone. Tie-dye played a powerful game with their limited number of players, but the overwhelming potential of the Green Lanterns continued to dominate under the leadership of Mike. (The Honeys didn’t receive a review from Tie-dye, so sorry for the lack of multi-colour analysis).

Clockwork Orange vs Dark Matter
Black Holes 13-9

Out on field four, the brightness of the Oranges (looking at you, “traffic cone” Kelly) versus the abyss-like Blacks made it look like a Halloween fest gone wrong. The intensity of this game didn’t disappoint, with both Clockwork Orange and Dark Matter gunning for a win after several weeks of losses. The first half saw a tight battle between the orange jack o’ lanterns and the dark grim reapers. Clockwork Orange ticked away at the scoreboard, but Dark Matter managed to pull away the half with a score of 7-5, using some crazy snags and long points to their advantage. Dark Matter pulled further away after the half, leaving Clockwork Orange chasing after ghosts. Dark Matter’s James played like a devil broken lose, while Dee caught discs right and left, flying through the air like a vampire in bat-mode. “Razor” Ray Everest must have thought it was a full moon, as he played with the fervor of a werewolf. However, Clockwork Orange is not and has never been a team of zombies; they fought back mummy-return style. TJ ran himself into the ground (literally!), while Carlos and Johannes handled the disc better than a witch handles a broom. Carlos also took a mad point, cutting down the field and catching a great throw from Ben. Sandra and the Clockwork Orange ladies helped cut through the field as well. Despite their best efforts, Clockwork Orange was swept under Dark Matter’s cloak of blackness, and Dark Matter scream-knifed the victory.

Are you SO KEEN for finals? WE ARE!

xoxoxo
<3 the Disc-Hammering Honeys

Get your priorities in order - It's the Finals!

2011-10-09T22:00:00.000+10:00

Let this video bring it home for all of us! We're on the home straight, the finals are looming.

Kenny Dobbins will set your priorities in order (if he doesn't, please disregard this video, it's out of date)! Take it away Ken...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHby2r9Qq4A

Is your cat constantly stomping around? Try out a new grip?

2011-10-06T01:39:00.004+10:00

Ever wanted to throw that full-field flick huck or add another 10m to your pull? Maybe it's in the grip? Check out the AFDA page showing what grips are available.

http://afda.com/skills/grips.htm

While you're there, why not pick up some more skills tips or register for the upcoming Townsville Royalty Hat on the 15th of October?

Week 7 Game Previews

2011-10-05T17:09:00.003+10:00

Welcome to the last night of the regular season! Tonight’s games determine the ladder for the Finals Power Rankings, so every game is bound to be ultimately intense! Get keen!

The Birds vs Spastic Spunk

Field one will either see some spunked-up Birds, or some death-on-the-Spunk. Between Duncan, Bobby, and Chris on the men’s side and Amy and Becca on the women’s side, Spunk will have quite the formidable offense. The Birds’ Dane, Cody, Damon, and Becca will provide a challenging counter, striking back just as furiously. Spunk’s unpredictability is only rivalled by its spirited heart, which has the potential to render the Birds flightless. The Birds are no, pushover, however. Their routine skill on the field will pose a difficult trial for Spunk. We hope the battle between Disc-Hammering Honey #1 and Disc-Hammering Honey #2 won’t strain the lovely ladylove!

Disc-Hammering Honeys forecast – the Birds fly free, 13-9

Lascivious LadyFingers vs RedBalls

The fire! The fury! The balls! This last week’s matchup between the determined Ladyfingers and the as of yet unrivalled Redballs promises to be the most sizzling match of the season so far. Will the force of DAMAVO, Dave-Mattie-Bevo, be enough to conquer the fury of Hugh’s extensive reach? The intimidating handling of Rob “The Highlighter” DeHollander and Stretch Osborn combined with the speed and agility of Timo and Sanne will undoubtedly try to cool these Balls off before they get too hot. Vigorous tension is sure to penetrate the game as bananas take on balls! Expect a furious fight to the finish, with strong efforts from both teams.

Disc-Hammering Honeys forecast – Redballs to take the undefeated title, 13-12

The Green Lanterns vs Dye Fast Tie Furious

Lights – colour – action! After an insanely close loss, the Green Lanterns will be keen to come out on top once more against the Tie-Dyes, but Tie-Dye will be equally keen to keep a victory streak from the last game. The Lantern’s General will have to utilize his signature fake and throw manoeuvre, along with his unshakeable leadership if he wants to skip past Tie-Dye’s defense. Tie-Dye’s Finny and Zane won’t go down without a fight, and certainly won’t make it easy for the Lanterns. Tie-Dye’s spectacular defence should threaten Mike’s game-plan and make him re-think his throwing strategy.

Disc-Hammering Honeys forecast – Lanterns to ignite the path to victory, 13-10

Clockwork Orange vs Dark Matter

This week’s matchup will see the flowing Dark Matter taking on the ticking Clockwork Orange. Clockwork has been playing strong and hitting fast these last couple of weeks, but have not been able to quite cinch it. Orange will have to play hard to keep up with Dark Matter, but we are sure they more than capable of tackling this challenge. After losing the last three games, Dark Matter will be gunning for a glorious comeback. It is sure to be a heated contest between Dark Matter’s Ashley, James, and Dee and Clockwork’s TJ, Carlos, and Josh. With points flying back and forth, this will definitely be a heated battle!

Disc-Hammering Honeys forecast – Orange to jump ahead with an upset, 13-11

Keep playing hard for the last of the Red Robin rounds!

Over and out –

xoxoxo from the Disc-Hammering Honeys

Big Sky 11s Tournament 5th Nov.

2011-10-05T14:46:00.003+10:00

Hey there's a Brisbane tournament coming up that is definitely worthwhile attending.

* Check out www.bigsky11.blogspot.com for information.

This tournament is being held once again to support Stacy and Mike Neild in their battle with Motor Neurone Disease.

Power Rankings - Week 7

2011-10-05T12:53:00.003+10:00

Welcome to the last night of the regular season! The last games brought little change to the league ladder, but there is plenty of potential for upset tonight! Tonight’s games determine the ladder for the Finals Power Rankings, so every game is bound to be ultimately intense! Get keen!!

1) RedBalls

The Balls of Fury continue to stroke their ego with a perfect 6-0 record, but tonight’s match-up against the second-ranked Ladyfingers will likely be their most challenging game yet. The beautiful skill, cohesion, and play-making abilities of DAMAVO have been unstoppable thus far, but will it be enough to win one more game and secure the number one seed in the Finals Ladder? With their secret weapon, the dynamic duo of Katie and Liss, the Balls definitely have the potential to achieve the perfect season.

2) Lascivious LadyFingers

The Ladyfingers have been on a five-game winning streak ever since their initial loss to Dark Matter in week one. They have dominated many teams and currently have the largest point differential in the league. Tonight, if they manage to overcome the seemingly magical powers of RedBalls, they not only crush the Balls’ ego, but they will knock them out of the top spot and reign victorious of the regular season. Will they be able to bring down the mighty Balls and achieve the upset all other teams have yearned for? It’s a definite possibility.

3) Dark Matter

After a disappointing loss to the RedBalls last week, Dark Matter remains in third place only by a hair. With a game against eighth seed Clockwork Orange this week, they look to remain in third going into the finals. James and Ashley may think they’ve got this game in the bag with their skill, but Clockwork will put up a worthy fight. If Dark Matter can keep their confidence up without getting too cocky, they will find themselves victorious in the final round of the regular season.

4) Dye Fast Tie Furious +1

Tie-Dye gained definite reign over the number four seed with their win against the Birds two weeks ago. With a game against the ever-becoming Green Lanterns this week, the multicolours will have to prove themselves worthy of being in the top four. The power-couple of Finny and Zane should be able to halt Mike’s presence, at least for a while. If they focus on stopping Mike’s play-making, their stellar defence will take care of the rest and leave Tie-Dye victorious.

5) The Birds -1

After a tough loss against Tie-Dye, the Birds who were once the number 1 seed, now find themselves down at number 5. However, the opportunity to rise within the rankings is still present as they have yet to play Spastic Spunk. Although Spunk will be riding momentum from their last win, The Birds have ample skill to finally get the fairy-tale ending they’ve been yearning for in recent weeks. If all players show up, specifically Dane and Cody, the Birds should be set to end the season with a win.

6) The Green Lanterns

After a heartbreaking loss to the Spastic Spunk, the Lanterns see themselves stuck as the number 6 seed this week. However, with a game against Dye Fast Tie Furious tonight, the Lanterns have the opportunity to secure themselves a higher spot in the ladder as we move into the Finals. The addition of Mike “The General” Larson has helped bring out the team’s full potential and rise up through the rankings in recent weeks. If the General can yet again inspire his team into a cohesive green machine, the Lanterns will be flying high while celebrating a well-deserved victory over the tie-dyed rainbow.

7) Spastic Spunk +1

After a fantastic game against the Green Lanterns two weeks ago, Spunk has moved out of last place and looks forward to moving up the ladder with a win against the Birds. However, problems with player attendance and frustrations on the field have been this team’s major downfalls all season. But if they can all band together as they did against the Green Lanterns, they definitely have the skill to beat the Birds tonight.

8) Clockwork Orange -1

A loss against Hugh’s bananas two weeks ago has left Clockwork Orange down in the dumps, and last place in the ladder. However, they have one final chance to prove themselves this week as they play number 3, Dark Matter. The potential and skills have been with this team since the beginning, but unlucky events have always left Clockwork a point or two behind. This week they have the chance to finally prove the reckoning force they really are with a win against Dark Matter.

xoxoxo

<3 The Disc-Hammering Honeys

Ladder

Pos Team Wins Losses For Against Differential

1 RedBalls 6 0 78 54 24
2 Lascivious LadyFingers 5 1 76 39 37
3 Dark Matter 3 3 67 67 0
4 Dye Fast Tie Furious 3 3 62 64 -2
5 The Birds 2 4 66 57 9
6 The Green Lanterns 2 4 50 70 -20
7 Spastic Spunk 2 4 49 71 -22
8 Clockwork Orange 1 4 59 76 -17

Ultimate Intensity in the Penultimate Round

2011-09-23T15:56:00.006+10:00

Welcome to another week of the best sport at Uni! It’s great to be writing for you. Hope you enjoyed these crazy intense games as much as we did!

The Green Lanterns vs Spastic Spunk

Squirting Semen 13-12

Jizz in my pants. That’s all we can say about this game. What do you get when you take the two most volatile, unpredictable teams and throw them together? If you said green, glow-in-the-dark spunk, that’s just gross. Let’s keep it PG. Back into the fray: the Lanterns lit up the scene straightaway with a decisive 2-0 lead. Coming back from a hard loss and hardly any players from last week, Spunk charged down the field, happy to have most of the squad back, and pulled a couple quickies in response. Duncan “Shrek spunk” put his height to good use; snatching discs and making everyone else wilt in comparison. Handlers Chris “cool spunk” and Amy “snazzy spunk” came hard as well, switching back and forth from man to zone, deeply penetrating the Lantern’s defense. Some sexy points from Becca “speedy spunk” handily jacked up the scoreboard, leaving a halftime saw a score of 7-4 favoring Spunk. The second half, however, was where the game truly began. Under the unshakable General Larson, and the blessing of TMWTDT, the Lanterns came back strong. The Lanterns blinded Spunk with a green, mutant-ninja-style comeback, placing the score at 9-8, just behind Spunk. From that point on, each team traded points, the score going back and forth with a vengeance. With help from Kjetil and “Mr Marriage,” Peter Roach, the General illuminated the way to scoring several points. Unfortunately for the General, Spunk whipped out a little personal favorite, Bobby “the beast” Jackson, who impregnated the game with mad catches and major moves like Jagger. To put it simply, TMWTDT may need to call Bobby in for some random drug testing come next game. The epic finale saw the two teams battling for the Universe point, with Spunk finally coming out on top.

The Birds vs Dye Fast Tie Furious

Polychromic Pwned 10-8

The Birds were yet again seeking their fairy-tale ending but fell just short to the force of Tie-Dye's poison-apple-offense. Tie-Dye started off with a strong defense that really threw the Birds for a loop, with a half-time score of 7-2 favoring the multi-colors. Unfortunately for Tie-Dye, the Birds certainly like coming from the back. Death from Above? More like Death from Behind! With couple of great D's from Felix, Nick, and Steve, the score quickly evened out 8-7. Becca’s excellent handling showed she certainly didn’t need to wait around for some prince. Meanwhile, Franich pulled a Cheshire cat and was all over the place, effectively breaking down Tie-Dye’s defense. Without their fairy godmother Dane West however, the Birds were ultimately unable to bring the magic. Zach ran faster than a big bag wolf can blow down a couple of houses, allowing him to catch several long throws and rack up the scoreboard. Amber neatly followed suit with a clean-sweep of awesome catches. The final few blows resulted from the killer combo of Finny and Zane pushing hard to keep their lead and stop the Bird's momentum. In the end, it was the color splatter that took home Cinderella's slipper.

Dark Matter vs RedBalls

Balls o’ Fury 13-10

This highly anticipated matchup did not disappoint. Dark Matter started out strong, cockblocking the Balls to get a quick 2-0 lead. However, the Balls were big enough to fight back. The Ball’s zone defense and their Assassin Mark threatened to pull Dark Matter into a black hole, challenging the Mighty Ashley “ball-smashing” O’Sullivan and nearly halting Dark Matter. Redballs took the lead at the half, and though their efforts were valiant, Dark Matter could not quite block the Balls of Fury. Dark Matter saw some great plays and some major Frisbee fingering from Damian, and Dee was another force of ferocity for Dark Matter. Not to be outdone, Redball’s dynamic duo Liss and Katie showed the boys who really wears the pants on the team. On the boys’ side, the unstoppable trio Mattie “BEEF-TRAIN” Hamilton, Bevo, and Dave diced, chopped, and all and all sliced up the field. Dark Matter found it could not quite get in between this ménage à trois, and another team fell victim to the power of the Dave-Mattie-Bevo (Damavo?) love. Redballs confidently took the game home to successfully continue their undeniably brilliant undefeated streak.

Clockwork Orange vs Lascivious LadyFingers

Banana split 12-10

It was a veritable Wild West showdown with Hugh blazing onto the field, guns swinging, only to be matched by newcomer TJ "traffic-cone" Kelly. It was Banana versus Orange and we must say, fruit has never looked so menacing. The intensity of this game was sizzling with Clockwork Orange trading points with the Ladyfingers and giving them a proper showdown after weeks of one-sided games. Despite a lack of subs on both the male and female sides, Clockwork Orange capitalized on their biggest guns. Carlos, Ben, and TJ kept the intensity high, while Aggie continued her reign of terror from last week with solid help from Cara. In response, Ladyfingers brought the fire in the form of Jeanette, Kayler, and Janice, who solidified the team despite recent injuries on the female half of the team. The game was a close 6-7 at halftime. However, the lack of subs proved to be the downfall of Orange as Ladyfingers began to pull those long discs. Clockwork Orange did not go down without a fight, necessitating some heavy-handed measures from Ladyfingers, including Timo laying out into the light pole. Ladyfingers managed to buck off Orange in the last few points of the game, and Hugh proudly claimed his badge as sheriff of the Frisbee.

Enjoy your break (if you can really enjoy a break without Frisbee). In two weeks time we’ll see the end of the Red Robin rounds. GET KEEN!!!

xoxoxo

<3 the Disc-Hammering Honeys

2011-09-23T09:13:00.004+10:00

Spastic Spunk versus Green Lanterns

The Birds versus Dye Fast Tie Furious

Becca Franich, Amber Zach

The Birds were yet again seeking their fairy-tale ending but fell just short to the force of Tie-Dye's blazing offense. The Tie-Dye started off with a strong defense that really threw the Birds for a loop, with a half-time score of 7-2 multi-colors. However, the Birds certainly like coming from the back. Death from Above? More like Death from Behind! With couple of great D's from Felix, Nick, and Steve on the Birds, the score quickly evened out 8-7 multi-colors, scaring Tie-Dye shitless. Without their fairy godmother Dane West, the Birds were unable to bring the magic. The killer combo of Finny and Zane pushed hard to keep their lead and stop the Bird's momentum. In the end, it was a color splatter that took home Cinderella's slipper.

Dark Matter versus Redballs

Clockwork Orange versus Lascivious Ladyfingers

It was a veritable Wild West showdown with Hugh blazing onto the field, guns swinging, only to be matched by newcomer TJ "traffic-cone" Kelly. It was Banana v. Orange and fruit has never looked so menacing. The intensity of this game was sizzling with Clockwork Orange trading points with the Ladyfingers and giving them

Week 6 Game Previews

2011-09-21T08:59:00.000+10:00

Wednesday again!!! Frisbee time! Woo!

Field 1 – Game 1

The Green Lanterns vs Spastic Spunk

Lanterns & Spunk, Spunk & Lanterns… Spunk on the Lanterns? In the first game of the night we see Spunk V Lanterns.
The Spunk have been suffering a tough couple of weeks, with some close losses & some difficulties with player availabilities. This week should see the return of the missing players, Duncan, Bobby, Nick & Sammy the big names to return. If these all come back we could see a thriller!
The Lanterns have been improving rapidly under the leadership of Mike. Known for his ability to bring players together to form championship winning teams, his challenge is to make this happen again with only half a season to work with. Only time will tell!

Sparkles Tip – The Green Lanterns to keep flourishing to take the win 13 – 10.

Field 2 – Game 1

Dark Matter vs RedBalls

In the feature match Dark Matter take on the undefeated RedBalls!
With Dark Matter suffering a couple of losses over the past 2 week be ready for them to come out with a vengeance! James & Dee make a killer scoring combination while Ashley runs the team from the handling position. Look to see them using their full team to move the disc around and tire out the short staffed RedBalls.
The RedBalls look to struggle a bit this week with their star female recruit, Hannah, out of action for the season. Captain Mattie ‘Beef-Train’ Hamilton will look to the family for a new female recruit. If successful in his recruiting he could increase the Hamilton count from 3 to 4. A scary prospect for any team!

Sparkles Tip –RedBalls to keep up their dream run, 13 – 11.

Field 3 – Game 1

The Birds vs Dye Fast Tie Furious

On field 3 the Birds take on Dye Fast Tie Furious. A must win game for both the get a top 4 finish!
The Birds have lost to teams ranked 1 & 2 in the last 2 weeks. They fought well against both but where just outplayed in the end. This game will come down to how well the leadership team can handle the pressure put on by Tie Dye. Look to Cody and Damon to lead by example with cool heads.
Dye Fast Tie Furious banded together well last week to get a crucial win against Dark Matter. With a short staffed line up last week we saw Zane step up and run 20 of 23 points, he used this opportunity to show his every improving throwing game!

Sparkles Tip – Tie Furious to keep on winning 13 - 10

Field 4 – Game 1

Clockwork Orange vs Lascivious LadyFingers

In the last of game 1’s matches we see Clockwork Orange taking on the red hot Lascivious LadyFingers.
Who can stop the rampaging Lascivious LadyFingers? In their last 4 games their opponents have only scored a total of 16 points to the LadyFingers 52 points! The key to the LadyFingers game is patience patience & more patience with the disc and a stifling defence! Expect to see the entire team running hard all game long!
Clockwork Orange has the huge task to try to stop the LadyFingers run! I personally hope to see the great minds of Timmy, Carlos & Josh work out a great offensive and defensive structure to run the LadyFingers to the ground! With a team just screaming PARKFIT don’t expect to see CO stop running anytime soon!

Sparkles Tip – CO to run LadyFingers ragged but fall short. LadyFingers 13 - 6

We Will see a new author coming onto the blog next week! Who it is nobody knows! So until next week! Keep on throwing!

Signing out,

Sparkles

Round 6 and a lazy barbie at the fields!

2011-09-20T23:04:00.001+10:00

Hey lovers of disc (pun intended)!

Please note that tomorrow night will be a barbecue before lecture recess and some of you head off overseas/around Australia/....around Townsville and of course come back for the coveted Australia VS the World match, Wednesday during lecture recess!!! Your game (one only this week, so we can squeeze in a barbie!) will also be timecapped so that we can all finish early to eat and socialise!

The few people who are yet to pay, it will be important to remember your league fees tomorrow night, they will be required before the finals - which your team will need you for! Barbecue is of course free to those already paid!

We know it's a busy week for many of you, so come down and enjoy a relaxing night! We've got the best parts coming up - Australia vs. The World, the last round robin games, the finals and the Grand Final night, barbecue/piss-up and awards! We've even got a Townsville Hat Tournament to look forward to on the 15th of Oct (followed by a floating party on the 16th) as well, where we'll be seeing players from Cairns heading down and getting a few visitors from Brisbane as well coming up for a full and fun weekend!

So keep getting your work done/ignoring it every Wednesday night and we'll see you at least every Wednesday night (and at the hat tournament), probably more often, till exams take hold!

Townsville Ultimate Disc Blog

The Final Rankings

The Final Frontier

Healthy posting!

Semi-finals Reviews

Grand Finale: A preview of mayhem

Quarter Final Reviews

Villains at Mixed Nationals 2011

Semi-Finals, Semester 2, 2011

Villains Results

FINALS Week 1 Previews!

Week 8 Power Rankings

Final Red Robin Round Full of Dramatic Performances

Get your priorities in order - It's the Finals!

Is your cat constantly stomping around? Try out a new grip?

Week 7 Game Previews

Big Sky 11s Tournament 5th Nov.

Power Rankings - Week 7

Ultimate Intensity in the Penultimate Round

Week 6 Game Previews

Round 6 and a lazy barbie at the fields!

So keep getting your work done/ignoring it every Wednesday night and we'll see you at least every Wednesday night (and at the hat tournament), probably more often, till exams take hold!

Cheers and lot of love,

Hugh and Duncan
Co-Presidentes
Townsville Ultimate Disc

Townsville Ultimate Disc Blog

The Final Rankings

The Final Frontier

Healthy posting!

Semi-finals Reviews

Grand Finale: A preview of mayhem

Quarter Final Reviews

Villains at Mixed Nationals 2011

Semi-Finals, Semester 2, 2011

Villains Results

FINALS Week 1 Previews!

Week 8 Power Rankings

Final Red Robin Round Full of Dramatic Performances

Get your priorities in order - It's the Finals!

Is your cat constantly stomping around? Try out a new grip?

Week 7 Game Previews

Big Sky 11s Tournament 5th Nov.

Power Rankings - Week 7

Ultimate Intensity in the Penultimate Round

Week 6 Game Previews

Round 6 and a lazy barbie at the fields!

So keep getting your work done/ignoring it every Wednesday night and we'll see you at least every Wednesday night (and at the hat tournament), probably more often, till exams take hold!

Cheers and lot of love,

Hugh and Duncan Co-Presidentes Townsville Ultimate Disc

Hugh and Duncan
Co-Presidentes
Townsville Ultimate Disc